Singlets
by Xela Xe
Summary: Buffy suddenly finds herself in need of a roommate Spike and Will, two publishing VPs, are in need of a roommate. What will happen when they find eachother?
1. The Search

SINGLETS

"Brilliant. You know, some ugly, decrepit, perverse old bird is going to show up at our door, she's gonna move in and this entire place is going to smell like...old woman and talcum powder. I just know it." Spike scowled at his unconcerned brother, merrily filling out the newspaper advertisement for a roommate. Not that they really needed a roommate in the monetary sense--they were VPs of one of the biggest publishing firms in the country for Christ sake--but they were both very sociable creatures, and they liked having someone else around to mix things up. Only Spike really didn't like leaving their roommate choice up to chance; there were too many close minded people in the world.

"That's a load of bollocks. We'll just put no talc on the ad," Will joked. He laughed at Spike's scowl and chucked a piece of paper at his head. Spike dodged the projectile and narrowed his eyes at his brother. Oh, he would pay. With a growl that sounded more like a smother laugh, he tackled his brother out of the chair he was sitting in. They rolled around for a minute until Spike had his unresisting brother pinned, his wrists pressed firmly to the floor, slender hips kept down by his own. He saw Will's eyes darken perceptively.

"No old ladies," Spike murmured, entranced.

"No old ladies," Will agreed, before capturing Spike's full lips with his own.

* * *

"I am never going to find a place to live!" Buffy moaned, banging her head against the cafe table. "I hate Faith!"

Willow shook her head at her oldest friend. Buffy, in her second year of grad school, had been living with her friend-come business partner since moving to L.A. The two had opened a multi-discipline martial arts studio, and expanded it into a combat weapons shop. In the three years since they'd finished college, the shop had gained national recognition for quality and expertise, Buffy and Faith even consulting for a few Hollywood movies! Then Buffy decided to go to grad school for business communication so she could help their shop continue to expand and grow. Buffy and Faith had been living together in a rather nice apartment when Robin Wood fell--literally--into the picture.

Robin had been walking on the upper deck of an L.A. club when a fight had broken out. In the midst of the confusion, Robin was pushed bodily over the railing and fallen a whole seven feet onto their table. That had been a great night for all; the management had rushed over and, in attempt to convince Robin not to sue them, had plied the group with free (an expensive) alcohol. Faith had gone home with Robin and they'd been a couple ever since. And now they were moving in together. While the cost of living in California was pretty high, Buffy had a decent income and could afford to live on her own if she absolutely needed to. Except she really didn't want to; she liked living with roommates, they kept her fresh and introduced her to new things. It was just lonely living alone.

"Have you looked through the classifieds?" Buffy was looking at her like she had grown another head. "What?"

"NO I haven't looked through the _classifieds_," Buffy said with disdain. "The only people who advertise there are ax murderers and rapists."

"Please. That is not true! Xander advertised through the paper!"

"Yeah, and he ended up with Warren the sketchy psycho stalker freak!"

"W-well, that was only the first try! He found Gunn!" Buffy just shook her head. "Oh! Oh! Look, 'One bedroom with private bath in UCLA. Graduate student, Mentone Ave. complex. Must be UCLA graduate student or postdoc. Parking, cable, shuttle bus to campus included, furnished living room. Features gated parking, month to month payments, no pets, air conditioning, dishwasher, intercom entry, microwave, gas range, balcony, fireplace, closets, yard, ceiling fans, laundry room, vertical blinds, heating, barbecue area, elevator, playground.' Come on, Buffy! It's perfect! What can it hurt to look?"

* * *

Buffy knock nervously on the door. The place looked alright, a little shabby, but on the whole not too bad, and it would be a little nice to be near UCLA. The door swung open revealing a rather severe looking woman with...blue hair? Well, they were in L.A.

"Hi, I'm--"

"Yes, you are Buffy. I am Illyria. You will have your own bedroom and bathroom," the strange woman started, her voice stilted and flat. Buffy was a bit taken aback by her abruptness, and followed the woman around the apartment on auto pilot. "You are not to use mine unless specifically told otherwise. Rent is $575, due promptly on the first, not before or after, you will pay half of the utilities. You will keep all personal items in your room, there is to be no clutter in the public spaces. You shall also receive your own half of the refrigerator and the pantry. I have class until 4:15 every day, and I study until 7, at which time I have dinner. I must have access to the stove and oven at that time, to keep my schedule. Other than that, you are free to do as you please. No pets, no loud parties, and no overnight visitors on weekdays. Do you have any questions?"

"I'll get back to you on that," Buffy said with a weak smile. This was not looking bright.

* * *

"And I was all like, NO WAY! But she was being, like, totally serious, can you believe that? Everyone knows you don't wear plaid with brown! Just..ew, you know? OH MY GOD! Look at this bathroom! That is ssssoooooo cute! Awwwwww, twins really do share everything, don't they! Oh, I can't wait to move in with my two Blondie Bears!"

Will was two seconds away from murdering his brother. There was no way this chits brainlessness hadn't come through over the phone. He took a little solace in the fact that she had latched onto Spike and seemed to have a death grip on his arm. The ditzy blonde opened her mouth again and Will braced himself for the horrible sound of her voice.

"You know what this apartment needs? Unicorns! Oh, and some pink, I have some of the cutest doilies that we can put in the living room, and posters! Have you seen _Legend_? Tom Cruise was SO HOT in that movie, ohmiga!"

Spike had finally had enough. He grabbed an oblivious Harmony by the arm and started dragging her towards the apartment door. By the time she realized she was outside, her babbling stream of IQ dropping nonsense had given way to confusion.

"Blondie Bear?" she asked in a tremulous voice. "When should I move in?"

"We'll let you know, Harm," Spike declared, slamming the door in her face. He collapsed against it, sliding down with a bone weary sigh.

"Talcum powder sounds lovely right about now," Will observed dryly.

* * *

"No Willow, no more," Buffy said resolutely. She was done.

"Come on, it hasn't been THAT bad...has it?"

"Seriously Buff, apartment hunting can't possibly be more traumatizing that surviving Sunnydale High," Xander joked. Really, Buffy just had no luck at all; she'd been to seven different apartments and had a horror story for each one.

"I was attacked by the dog Cujo had to have inspired, been invited to join a satanic coven by the Bride of Lucifer **HIM**self, stumbled into a brothel when I mistook what the ad was REALLY asking for, and had a bottle of red paint dumped all over my favorite shirt because someone's deranged girlfriend thought I was the other woman! I am DONE!"

Willow sympathized with Buffy, honestly. That wasn't laughter she was trying to choke back, not at all. But honestly...who did all that actually happen to? Only Buffy. Who was currently glaring daggers at her.

"Laugh it up, Wills. Great friend you are," Buffy sulked.

"You know, Buff," Riley ventured, sliding his arm behind his girlfriend's chair, "we have been dating for six months. You could always move in with me." Riley gave her his most sincere grin. He honestly felt that it was time for Buffy to make that final commitment, to take one more step towards their inevitable marriage.

Buffy glanced sideways at Riley. He was a great guy and all...but she wasn't ready to live with him. That was a really big step, one she couldn't see herself taking just yet. Buffy refused to acknowledge the annoying voices in her head that were listing off other reasons for her recalcitrance.

"That's not a bad idea Buff," Xander added, sharing a knowing look with his buddy. He'd set them up, and was happy with the way his college buddy and best friend were getting along.

"Oh, look! Here's one!" Willow piped up in an overly loud voice. Buffy was her best friend, and what made Buffy happy made her happy...but Willow would be damned if she didn't do everything in her power to keep Buffy from moving in with Riley. He was a nice guy and all but...he was Riley. Safe, solid, extremely boring Riley. "One bed, full bath in a 3-beadroom apartment; twin roommates with steady job and good income. No gender preference. Pets possible, fully furnished living area, $350 a month, utilities included." That's totally unheard of in the L.A. area Buffy, and this is located in a really nice neighborhood!"

"Yeah, which means they're probably serial killer rapists," Buffy grumbled sullenly. Willow decided it was time to bring out the big guns.

"Come on Buffy, please! Don't give up now!"

"No! Not fair, Willow!" Buffy protested. But Willow's big puppy dog eyes refused to go away, even when she closed her eyes. "Fine. One last place."

* * *

"That's it. Officially, there are no normal people left in Los Angeles." Will threw himself bodily on this couch, his head resting in Spike's lap. He glanced at the TV, unsurprised to see _Passions_ playing. Spike absently ran his fingers through Will's gelled hair, smiling at the contented sounds emanating from the tired blonde.

"Normal people are boring anyways," Spike volunteered distractedly.

The doorbell rang, drawing their attention to the door.

"Abnormal person number twenty-eight," Will said sarcastically. With a sigh, he pried himself off the couch, poking Spike in he ribs. "Come on, I'm not facing this one alone!" Spike groaned in protest, but allowed himself to be dragged away from his program. They were taking the ad out of the paper tomorrow, and they could return to their happily scheduled lives, minus the insane people.

"Ready?" he asked Will, his hand on the knob. He received a resigned nod and opened to door to...the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. Her blonde hair flowed down to her shoulder blades, clear green eyes glittering with intelligence gleamed against glowing golden skin. Will's sharp intake of breath and grip on his arm proved he was just as affected.

Buffy was in awe. Two of the most gorgeous men she had ever laid eyes on were standing right in front of her. They were slender, but she could see the promise of muscle underneath their clothing. Two pairs of stormy blue eyes seemed to look into her soul.

"Hello, cutie," one of them said. Oh dear. They had accents. She was so screwed.


	2. Conversations

Before today, Buffy would have sworn she was a rational, coherent person, fully capable of holding a meaningful conversation with anyone that crossed her path. However, at the moment, she seemed completely and utterly unable to do anything but stare at the twin visions of male perfection before her.

"Buffy," she blurted. She cringed at the harshness of her voice. God, she was such a spaz! "Buffy is...is me," she finished lamely. Oh, now THAT was well done. God, they were going to think she was a spaz. Where was a dark hole when she needed it?

Spike smirked at the mildly flustered girl before him. She was adorable, and a huge step above any of the other applicants who'd knocked at their door. He nudged his brother, who seemed to have sunk into a mindless stupor.

"Well, Buffy is me, welcome to your future abode," Spike said cockily with a gallant sweep of his arm. He was rewarded with a small giggle. Pulling his dumbfounded brother to the side, he allowed the petite blonde to enter the room.

"Wow, this is really nice!" Buffy exclaimed, her earlier stupor forgotten. The living room was spacious and cozy. There was a comfortable-looking tan couch and matching chair in front of a rather large TV and entertainment set. Two large, plush leather recliners bracketed the couch, and a beautiful modern-looking coffee table added a bit of character. The entire room was tasteful and inviting; she could tell from looking that the brothers had money, but they weren't flaunting it. Everything was...homey.

"Thanks, luv." Will thought his voice sounded forced and dry. Got, he was such a git, swooning in front of a pretty lady. Strike that: freaking ridiculous hot gorgeous lady. "You want the official tour? We were about ready to print pamphlets, so we know it by heart."

"Had a lot of interest in the room?" Buffy asked with a laugh, moving farther into the inviting space. This really was a very nice apartment, and the two studs that came with it didn't seem like the mass murdering or Satan-marrying types, which was always a plus.

"You have no idea," Spike muttered.

"Well, renting it for $350 a month is bound to have all sorts of people crawling out of the woodwork."

"You _really_ have no idea," Will repeated with a self-depreciating laugh. "So what do you do, pet?"

"I'm a grad student at UCLA," Buffy replied, flushing at the pet name, "for business communication. I own a self defense and hand-to-hand weapon shop." The twins took a moment to savor that particular thought; what was it about a chick with a weapon that turned them on so much?

"What do you guys do? I mean, it's obvious you're fairly well off, really doesn't look like you need a roommate. B-But that's cool! Because my best friend keeps telling me that I can totally live alone, but I'm pretty against that because living alone is just so...lonely, you know? Sometimes having someone else there, to get you to go out or break routine is nice, you know? God, I'm babbling. I'm just gonna stop now." At that moment, Will and Spike knew they were well and truly smitten.

"It's fine, kitten, but you're right. We work at a publishing company. Upper management, dad owns the joint. And we don't like the quite." Spike flashed Buffy a smirk, his eyes burning her from head to toe.

They took Buffy around the apartment, making small talk and exercising their considerable charm (which their mother referred to as the Twin Attack of Death) to convince Buffy that THIS is where she wanted to live. Everything they learned about her, from her small-town roots of Sunnydale, to anecdotes about her family and her aspirations for the future made her more and more desirable. They'd finished the tour an hour ago, coaxing the petite blonde into having a beer (or two) with them.

"...so Spike makes for the stacks, and all the bobbies are headed that way, when I bust open the double doors, so they all do an about face and start chasing me--"

"--and then I head around to the front, and Spike run straight down the hall and around the corner, but the stupid coppers are fat and slow and can't keep up. They're halfway down the main way when I come tearing out of one of the side halls and make a break for freedom. They were so confused by that point, they just gave up!"

"One of the blighters just laid on the floor and cried," Will said with a chuckle. Buffy's melodic laughter was music to their ears; they'd been regaling her with stories of their less reputable exploits. They'd gone through a wild phase back in the day, and had quickly discovered that being twins worked to their advantage.

"That's awesome! I wish I'd been a twin," Buffy said, giggling at the image of a pack of misinformed cops wondering how one person could move that fast. Spike flushed briefly, thinking that had she had a twin, the situation may have been a little bit less complicated. The sudden shrill ringing of a cell phone cut through their conversation. "Shoot! Sorry, hold on. Hello?"

"Buffy? Where are you? You're late." Buffy cringed at Riley's accusing and hurt tone. Shit, she'd had a date tonight; she had totally lost track of time talking with her (hopefully) future roommates.

"Oh, no! Riley! I'm so sorry! I came over to that apartment Willow made me look at, and it's amazing! I've been, uh, sorting out the details. I'll be there in twenty minutes, OK?" Buffy felt that this was definitely one of the times a little white lie.

"Yeah, OK. Love you Buffy," Riley said a bit resignedly. He'd really been hoping Buffy would move in with him. But there was still time.

"See you soon, Riley." Buffy stuffed the cell phone back in her purse and faced the twins. She felt...oddly guilty that she had to bail on them. For Riley.

"Boyfriend, pet?" Spike asked coolly. Will just levels an assessing gaze at the flustered blonde.

"Ah, yeah. Riley. We've been together for, um, six months now? So, yeah, I've gotta run I'm, um, kinda late. Lost track of time." God, pull it together Buffy! "But if you guys are OK with it...I'd like to maybe, ah, move in. Soon." Buffy felt her entire being relax when their faces lit up with boyish grins. They were so cute! And she was really entirely too reluctant to leave them. What was going on? She'd known them for two hours!

"We'd like that, pet." Spike said, guiding her towards the door.

"You can start moving whenever you want," Will said with a smile. "We'll have a key made for next time you're here."

"Thanks! You guys are really easy to talk to. I think I'm going to like it here." With a huge smile, Buffy impulsively pulled them both into a giant bear hug. And then she was gone.

"Fuck me," Spike muttered, watching Buffy's backside sway enticingly as she walked away. The door closed quietly behind her.

"With pleasure," a hot voice whispered in his ear. He was pulled back into a strong body, thoughts of a certain woman swimming through their heads.

* * *

Buffy rushed into Vitto's Italian Restaurant with a huge smile on her face. She had a place to live, and two (hot, sexy, she was taken...) roommates she seemed to get along with. She didn't notice Riley's sullen pout as she swooped in and started gushing about her new digs.

"The apartment is so nice! You should see my room, it's the master suite! The bathroom's not connected, but it's right outside the door, so it's not really that big a hassle. And the living room is huge, but not oppressive or anything. Will and Spike are really very good decor--"

"Spike?" Riley demanded. "You're going to live with someone named...Spike?" Buffy cringed at the way he spit the word. "Buffy, honestly, you're better than associating with someone named...Spike. And Will? You're going to live with two men? You're not thinking, Buff. You have a reputation to maintain, and living with two men is not going to help it. You really need to reconsider your choices." He grabbed her hand, affecting sincerity. "Live with me. I love you."

"My reputation? Riley, this isn't the 40s. People live with the opposite sex all the time. I'm not going to sully my virtue with the twins. They're very nice and I like them, and I'm not ready to live with you. I told you that. So please, give me time. Right now, I'm content to move to the nice, cheap apartment. Alright?" She was getting a headache. She'd been over this with Riley so many times that she couldn't even muster anything stronger than mild exasperation. Honestly, Riley was treating her like a child, and it was starting to grate on her. She was a grown woman, damn it, and she could make her own choices! She was just about to rip into him--again--when he relented.

"I know, I'm sorry, Buffy. I just...I guess you not wanting to move in with me is hitting a sore spot. But I'll be fine. Do you want some wine with dinner?" Buffy let it go, but she had a sinking feeling Riley wasn't quite done with the issue yet. She sighed, realizing her happy high had been replaced with sullen irritation.

* * *

Will was draped limply over his twin's sweat-soaked body, spent but not satiated. Memories of green eyes and golden hair teased him mercilessly.

"She's got a boyfriend." The deep rumble from Spike's chest stirred something hungry and primal within him.

"Boyfriends can be replaced," Will murmured, his lips brushing against heated skin. He reveled in the slight tremor Spike tried to hide.

"That would be--Will!" He reluctantly released the flat, stiff nipple that had been receiving his attentions. "That would be wrong." Will just grinned.

"So very wrong," he agreed, before returning to his interrupted task.


	3. Moving Out

Moving Day

"Damn, B. When did you have time to get all this stuff?" Faith grumped as she tried to life one of Buffy's over packed boxes. Robin stuck his bald, shiny head in the door.

"Like you're one to talk, Kettle." Faith stuck her tongue out at her boyfriend, whose eyes glazed over in a look Buffy was quite familiar with.

"Oh, no you don't! You two have boxes to move! No nookie! Bad Faith, bad Robin!" Buffy commanded, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice. Faith scowled at her before dumping the box in Robin's waiting arms, smiling sweetly at his put-upon expression. The two began mock-arguing about Faith's laziness and Robin's heavy-lifting duty as the manly black man in their relationship. Robin finally gave up, hauling the box away and complaining about the double standards of life.

Buffy gave a little sigh at how easy they were with each other. Faith had had a hard time growing up, her parents largely absent, and those were on the good days. She'd erected a wall around herself that pushed away anyone who got too close away. She'd had a disastrous non-relationship with Xander, but after high school, with the maturity of college and time under their belts, the two had made nice. But something like that never fully went away. Then Robin had fallen into Faith's life and refused to leave. He'd put up with a lot of shit in his efforts to prove to her that he was for real. Buffy had learned a lot from them, including how potentially harmful and detrimental it was to let the demons of your past rule your present. So she'd looked up a psychiatrist in the area and hadn't looked back. Speaking of Lorne, he was supposed to come by and help out today. A few months after Buffy had stopped seeing him professionally, they had run into each other at the movies. They'd traded phone numbers and struck up a brilliant friendship.

"Shnookums, I'm home!" a cheery voice called out. A grin lit up her face. There was her favorite ex-shrink, fashionably late as always.

"But darling, my secret lover is still here! Come back later!" she called with a giggle. Lorne flounced in and struck a pose in the door way, his head thrown back dramatically.

"I'm ready for my close up, Mr. DeMille!" Buffy and Faith cracked up at Lorne's antics. While he was slightly effeminate, Lorne was far from flaming; besides he was bisexual and would be terribly disappointed if all the ladies were put off by his snake, ah, man charming abilities. Robin snuck up behind the posing shrink, wrapping his arms around him and pursing his lips.

"I don't care which side you get, honey, just as long as you get my good side," he quipped. Faith dropped her newly packed box of clothes, doubling over at the picture the two men made. Buffy had to sit down on the bed. It had taken a while for Lorne to get Robin to loosen up, but once he had...well, it was impossible to have a bad day when the two of them were "playing." They continued playing off each other, their conversation getting more ridiculous until the girls had tears running down their faces.

"Uncle!" Buffy yelled, her sides aching. "We have moving to do!"

"And sexy new TWIN roommates to meet," Lorne added mischievously.

"Lorne," Buffy warned.

"Buffykins." She gave him a pointed look. "Oh, come on. A man can dream. I mean, two blue-eyed, high-cheeked British twins who look like Adonis at my beck-and-call? That's the stuff wet dreams are made of, beautiful!" Buffy blushed; Lorne was a bit closer to the truth than she was willing to admit. She had a boyfriend, one she was happy and content with! She had no lusty feelings for her roommates. Nope, none at all. Lustiness factors of zero.

Lorne shared a secret smile with Faith. It was obvious Buffy was quite attracted to her reportedly bodaciously beautiful roomies. And God if he didn't detest Riley. He was not for his Buffykins, not at all. Xander chose that moment to come back in and rally the troops.

"What are you people doing? We have things to move, trucks to pack, places to be! Let's move people! Hey Lorne. Chop chop! Go, go, go!" Xander cried. Faith rolled her eyes and hauled her box downstairs. The others followed, Lorne and Buffy teaming up to tackle a particularly heavy box of what had to be cement blocks. They almost bit it on the stairs, but made it with only a few bumps and scrapes. They found Faith sitting on the bed of the truck, legs swinging.

"You guys know my motto, want, take, have? Well, right now I want to stop, take a break, and have a beer. Who's with me?" A raucous chorus of agreement met her suggestion. Robin spent the entire trip back up to the apartment teasing Lorne about his lack of stamina, to which Lorne responded he'd be more than happy to give Robin an intimate display of his stamina. Robin would just need to take a week or two off of work.

The group was lazily stretched out on the barren carpeted floor, sipping cold beers and laughing at Robin and Lorne's double entendres when Riley showed up. Buffy leapt up to greet him, oblivious to the subdued mood that fell over the rest of the group, even Xander in this mixed company.

"Hey! You're just in time, we only have a few more boxes to clear out before we head over to the new place!" Buffy exclaimed. She wrapped her arms around him, happiness radiating from every pore of her being.

"Yeah, about that..." Riley started, avoiding Buffy's eyes. Lorne gritted his teeth when Buffy's face fell. Bastard. He was pretty sure Riley was cheating on the effusive blonde, but he had no proof. Only years of experience as a clinical psychologist, reading body language and hearing what wasn't said. That and Riley had the earmarks of a self-righteously unfaithful man. Probably had twisted it in his mind that it was all Buffy's fault for whatever her was doing. He needed to liberate his precious Buffykins ASAP.

"Something came up, babe. I'm really sorry. But hey, I'll take you out to a house warming dinner, how's that sound?" Buffy gave him a small smile and nodded, Riley placing a chaste kiss on her lips. He shook hands with Xander and waved to the rest of the group before leaving as quickly as he'd shown up.

It was a well known fact that Riley didn't like Faith, Robin, or Lorne. He didn't like Faith because she was independent and very liberated; she recounted many of her sexual pitfalls to the amusement of the group--even Robin, who has realized long ago that Faith dealt with her past by making it something she could laugh at--but such a display of blatant sexuality from a female didn't sit well with Iowa's most repressed son. And Riley had a very big problem with Robin and Faith's relationship as they were not of the same race. While he claimed he'd been raised to respect black people, 'they' were not proper choices as significant others, and definitely not for marriage.

And Lorne. Well, Lorne was just morally corrupt and perverted. He'd had several girlfriends and boyfriends over the six months Riley had known him. Riley was trying to distance Buffy from them by introducing her to normal people, people who were worth her time and whose association wouldn't sully her reputation. But for now, he tolerated them. And he had a meeting with a certain someone to get to. The door closed behind Riley's hulking form, a strained silence settling between the friends. Blinking away tears, Buffy turned to face the group, her voice overly chipper.

"Let's finish this up!" she cried, trying to cover the hurt Riley's abrupt dismissal caused. At least he'd bothered to show up and tell her. That was something.

Lorne and Robin quickly lightened Buffy's mood with their outrageous antics. She giggled as they discussed the benefits of 'spooning' food over 'knifing' it as they hauled her cutlery down to the moving van. Between the five of them, the old apartment was empty and completely devoid of personality, Faith having moved out a week earlier.

Buffy finished packing up the last of her knick knacks, surveying her empty room with a sense of nostalgia. She'd spent three very happy years here. She was going to miss it, but she couldn't help but think that the move was opening up a new, profound chapter in her life. And she couldn't wait!


	4. Moving In

Buffy giddily inserted her key in the door. This was it! She turned to her friends gathered behind her with a mischievous smile.

"I'd just like to say, on this momentous occasion, that--"

"B, I'm gonna rip your ribcage out and wear it for a hat if you don't open the damn door!" Faith growled. Her box was heavy, dammit. There wasn't time for Buffy to be cute, there was moving to be done and hot roommates to be met!

"Hey! That's my line!" Buffy protested. When Faith just stuck her tongue at her, and Robin's eyes glazed over in that familiar lust-addled way, Buffy decided breaking the move-in rhythm might have been a bad idea. She swept the door open and hauled one of her boxes over the threshold of her new home.

Home. She was a bit surprised at how easy it was to put that title here. From the moment she'd met her new roommate to the second she'd crossed the threshold, she'd found it easier to think of this place as her own. She'd talked to them or seen them everyday for the past week and a half leading up to her move in. She'd even gotten in a minor fight with Riley; he was getting jealous that she was spending so much of her free time with her future roommates. Buffy had tried to be reasonable, telling him she wanted to get to know the people she'd be living with for at least a year before she formally moved in and signed a lease, but Riley had just gone off about how she knew him and they could have skipped that step had she just done the easy (read: right) thing and moved in with him. Then she'd snapped, yelling at Riley about how insensitive he was being and how he was really not listening to her at all. They hadn't talked in almost two days, Riley's brush off this morning not helping matters. But the upside was she and the twins had become fast friends, and Buffy was looking forward to living with them. She might just need to buy Willow a huge thank you gift.

"Will? Spike? I'm here with my posse...I'm moving in!" she called down the hall. They didn't appear to be in, but she couldn't wait for them to meet everyone else.

She opened her bedroom door with a smile. It was so big! She got the master bedroom, as Spike and Will were used to sharing a bathroom, which connected their rooms and prevented any "potentially awkward moments" from arising. Buffy had felt they were referring to something other than walking in on her in the shower or some other compromising position, but couldn't for the life of her figure out what it was. So she just shrugged it off and set her box down, her mind occupied with what posters she should get and how to arrange her furniture. Maybe some nice, vintage Parisian posters? Oh, and definitely a Jack Sparrow one...

"Manly men coming through with a mattress!" Xander hollered. He and Robin barreled through the door, hauling Buffy's queen-sized mattress after them.

"Damn it's hot out there," Robin complained, wiping sweat off his brow. Faith swatted his ass and gave him an assessing look.

"Baby, we have got to work on your stamina," she said with a saucy wink.

"You know, Schnookums, if you'd just let me have a go at him, you'd never have to worry about stamina again," Lorne said with a flirtatious wink at the two. Faith let out a barking laugh while Robin sulked at them both. "Oh, look at that lip! Gonna get it!" Lorne teased. His way was blocked by an unimpressed and resolute Faith.

"You'll have to get through me first!" she declared. She missed Robin's disgustingly adoring look at her possessiveness, which was probably for the better because such displays often embarrassed her. Xander settled himself near Buffy, a little uncomfortable by the joking. While he loved Buffy unconditionally, some of her friends were just...too much. He'd never felt like a true part of the group unless it was just the old high school gang: him, Willow, and Buffy.

"I like it. You done good," Xander said nudging Buffy lightly, his goofy, lopsided grin on his face. He was rewarded with one of Buffy's beaming, room-filling smiles.

"Yeah? If you like it now, I can't wait for you to meet Will and Spike!" She didn't miss the slight shadow that passed over Xander's face.

"You...you really think living with someone named Spike is a good idea, Buffy? I mean...you know? I worry." Xander was once again on the receiving end of Buffy megawattage.

"Yeah, I know. But really, it's not what you think. Well, maybe a little of what you think. But it totally fits him! You know, like 'Elizabeth' is way too formal for me. I'm Buffy, Buffy is me. I'm only Elizabeth to my parents," she said with a look of distaste, "and you know how much I love it." Xander loosely draped his arm over his best friend, giving her a soft one-armed hug. Buffy had struggled with her parents for years; she never seemed to do anything that pleased them. They viewed her, a successful business woman at twenty-seven, as a failure because she wasn't a lawyer in her father's firm, or a doctor, or some other high-paying power player. But the Summers had always been nice to him, and while he couldn't fault Buffy for chafing under her parent's rule, they were better that HIS parents. Xander's reply was lost when a deep, British voice cut through the background chatter.

"Look Will, the Yanks have invaded our apartment!" Spike smirked as Buffy whipped her head at the sound of his voice. He pressed his tongue behind his teeth and threaded his fingers through his belt loops, his hands 'casually' framing his crotch. Oh yeah, Ms. Summers was definitely looking at his package.

"People! Really! This is _Buffy's _ house warming! Who went and got me prezzies?" Lorne exclaimed, eyeing his friend's prospective roommates. Who were freaking ridiculously delectable! Damn, but Buffy had been down playing their hotness. Even Faith was staring slack-jawed at the British duo, for once completely oblivious to Robin's presence behind her. Not that the black man felt any sort of real jealousy; Faith was his, simply and honestly put. But still. Did she have to be so obvious?

Lorne though he'd hit jackpot when Spike slowly checked him out. Not in the fake done-for-laughs way Robin did, but in the legitimate way that only someone who truly appreciates--and enjoys--the male body can pull off. Oh, this one had a dash of queer in his beautiful body with those piercing baby blues...

Lorne's interest was doubled when the quieter of the two moved up behind the object of his current appraisal. Spike's attention was immediately drawn to Will, who glanced briefly at Lorne before turning to his brother. The entire transition took less than a few second, but Lorne caught it all...including how Spike's gaze was now as neutral as he could get it. Oh, now that was VERY interesting.

Buffy moved to her twins and gave them both giant bear hugs.

"Everyone, this is Will, and this is Spike. Will and Spike...this is everyone." Buffy said, her giddiness apparent to everyone in the room. Will glanced at the bouncy blonde with a soft smile on his face, enjoying the closeness of her body. Will rolled his eyes good naturedly, but didn't bother to move the arm that was comfortably slung across her waist.

Lorne watched with his psychologist hat on, trying to hide the huge smile that wanted to break free. Both of Buffy's new roommate wanted her in a bad way...and though Buffy probably wouldn't admit it under torture at the moment, she was jonesing for them too. With the sparks he could see flying through the air, Lorne was confident that Riley wouldn't be in their lives for much longer. Except Buffy had a nasty habit of being a stubborn idiot, which could be a problem. One that he'd have to think about later, as he had two gorgeous men to flirt with.

"Oh, I have heard so much about you two! Buffy just did not do you justice. I'm Lorne, and as I will not be telling you apart anytime soon, I'm just going to call you Twinlets." Lorne congratulated himself on pulling a smile out of the reserved one; that was a good way to make amends for unknowingly stepping on his territory. Though he was lying a little bit, he'd be able to tell them apart without much trouble, but they didn't know that. And some of the best relationships he'd ever seen were founded on lies.

"Oh, just ignore him, he's the biggest flirt on the planet. He'd flirt with his grandma," Buffy said with an eye roll.

"Hey, my grandmother taught me everything I know!" Lorne exclaimed dramatically, fixing Buffy with his best mock-glare. He sent a secret wink Will's way, flashing him a quick smile. Will decided that he actually liked Buffy's cheeky friend, despite the fact Spike had been blatantly checking him out...and the attention had been mutual. While both of them had an undeniably greater attraction for the ladies, one in particular these days, both of them could appreciate Lorne's charms.

Buffy quickly introduced them to her friends. Robin took Faith's drooling in good stride, informing her new roommates that Faith was given to seizures when she saw something her brain couldn't cope with. Faith belatedly snapped out of her lusty funk and started mock-beating Robin up, who between his gut-wrenching laughs managed to choke out the most absurd (and insincere) apology anyone had ever heard. Will and Spike had been thoroughly amused, offering Robin suggestions and encouragement while alternately informing Faith that her beau wasn't putting forth enough effort, effectively placing them well on the couple's good side. Buffy couldn't explain the feeling of joy that coursed through her seeing her friends get along with Will and Spike so well. The only one who was not enthusiastically grilling the Twinlets--Buffy thought Lorne's word was brilliant and planned to use it often--about their lives was Xander.

Xander eyed the two newcomers with consternation. There was something about them that just rubbed him the wrong way. Maybe it was their Bill Idol look, the punk rock shock of blonde hair that clashed with their tailored business suits. Spike seemed to have that raw sex appeal that most bad boys seemed to be born with, the kind that would ensnare some unsuspecting female. Will was a bit more reserved, but his smile was just as easy as Spike's. Xander didn't like it, not at all. And the way they seamlessly meshed with the group Xander had been at odds with for almost three years set his blood boiling. A small part of Xander realized the hatred and dislike he was feeling towards the duo was unfounded and mildly insane, but he couldn't help it. And eventually, his terminal case of Foot-in-Mouth Disease sprang up.

"So, you guys are VPs at a publishing firm," Xander interrupted boldly. Suddenly, all eyes were on him. "Who pulled the strings for you? Daddy? Rich uncle? Mommy dearest?" Xander ignored Buffy's glare and Faith's disapproving scowl.

Spike squared himself, facing his challenger. Yeah, their Da had be instrumental in getting them where they were now; but everyone from the lowliest paper boy to every single bloody CEO--in their firm and several others--admitted that Will and Spike were a tag team to be reckoned with.

"Da got un our initial positions. We did the rest," Spike said smoothly, allowing his corporate exterior to come though. This was the veneer he used with particularly annoying or bull-headed clients, the one that shoved politeness in you face with a subtle dash of fuck-you contempt.

Xander snorted. Typical. "Yeah, figured. Most places frown on the Billy Idol wannabe look," he sneered.

"Well, not everyone can account for style, Whelp," Will interjected, his jaw tight. "Like for instance, Hawaiian shirts are for trips to Maui and keeping track of little kids in a crowd."

"Well, how about we finish unpacking?" Buffy interjected, eager to break up the tête-à-tête taking place in her room. Faith and Lorne let loose sighs of relief and sprang into action, Faith grabbing Xander by the shirt and hauling him back to the moving truck. Robin and Lorne followed soon after, shaking hands with the Twinlets who promised to ocme help as soon as they changed clothes. Buffy was a little sad to see the scrumptious buisness suits go, but they weren't very practical for moving.

"Sorry about Xander, he's a--"

"Whelp?" Spike said with a boyish grin. Buffy rolled her eyes and smacked him lightly on the chest.

"A big brother type," she finished with a laugh. Will and Spike exchanged glances, both doubting Xander's interest was anything 'brotherly.'

"Oh, right. Wouldn't know anything about brothers," Spike said slyly. Will slapped him upside the head.

"Like hell you don't, you ponce!"

"Well, not about _older _brothers," he said with a grin.

"Bollocks!" Will punctuated his expletive by putting his smirking twin in a headlock. She watched as Spike struggled futilely, landing punches on Will's belly and back. The started and all-out wrestling match, right there on the carpet of her new room, the whole time arguing about who was the eldest. Eventually, the combatants parted, panting on the carpet, business suits rumpled. Spike was the first to haul himself up, extending a hand to a scowling Will.

"So...which one of you is the oldest?" Buffy asked curiously. Spike smiled slowly, draping one arms over Buffy's small shoulders. Will followed suit, grinning like an idiot.

"Well, you see, luv," Spike started.

"It's like this," Will continued.

"We asked our Ma once--"

"Great lady, our Ma."

"--and she gave us the same answer we'll give you."

Will motioned Buffy to him, ready to whisper a secret in her ear. Buffy felt goose bumps rise on her skin as his warm breath tickled the shell of her ear.

"It's the one with the bigger cock!"

Buffy blinked and shook her head in confusion. What? She couldn't have possibly heard that right.

"Wh...what?" Spike and Will burst out laughing, Will doubled over and clutching his sides. Buffy watched them laugh at her, annoyance and confusion rolling through her.

"Oh, pet, that was priceless!" Will said, wiping away tears. Spike gave her a large hug, dropping a chaste kiss on her head.

"Our second official act as your new roommates is to make you watch the deleted scenes of i _Boondock Saints /i _," Spike declared.

"But first, we're going to change clothes and help you unpack," Will said as he disappeared down the hall.

Buffy stood there, rooted to the spot, her mind whirling. The door had already closed behind the chuckling pair when Buffy finally managed a small, "What the hell?"

* * *

A/N: Thanks for all of the reviews and support for this:) It's 15 chapters long, for those who are wondering! 


	5. UST Interlude

Will threw himself bonelessly onto the bed, watching Spike undress with growing interest. Spike drew the black t- shirt over his head, the play of his well-toned muscles mesmerizing. Will watched as the muscles flexed and stretched, the contours of each group deep and visible before rippling back to relaxed smoothness. Damn, if he wasn't one good looking bloke. 

"So, what do you think?"

"About what?" Will asked distractedly. Spike turned and looked disbelieving at his clueless counterpart. Will sighed in appreciation at the frontal view, making a mental note to steal those pants one day. They rode low on the hips, displaying the chiseled abs to their best and drawing the eyes to the well-developed pelvic muscles.

"About wh--have you head a word I've said?" Will finally broke away from his perusal to concentrate on the conversation Spike was trying to have.

"Well, no. I was too busy admiring myself," he gestured to Spike's naked torso. Will watched in amusement as Spike looked down at himself, confusion etched in his sharp features.

"You bloody..."--Will laughed uproariously as Spike chucked his wadded, sweat-stained t-shirt at him--"I am NOT your soddin' mirror!" Will dumped the shirt on the floor, stretching out on the bed with a challenging smirk.

"You were doin' a damned fine job of it," he goaded. Without warning, Spike launched himself at his annoying twin, the bed bouncing from his weight. Will was immediately on the defensive, scissoring his legs around Spike's torso. The other bleached blonde, whose head was right at Will's stomach, suddenly bit down. Will let out an involuntary gasp and arched his hips, trying ignore Spike's pleased chuckle. Spike tugged his hands from where they'd been banded around Will's legs, moving them slowly up. Will was fully prepared to give in when Spike's devilish finger dug into his sides. Trying frantically to get away, Will rolled them off the edge of the bed and onto the floor with a loud THUMP, Will at the advantage this time. He straddled Spike, pinning his hands above his head when a light knock came on the door.

"Spike?" Buffy's dulcet tones floated through the wooden door. "Are you OK?"

"Ah..." Spike looked at Will. Will looked at Spike. Buffy opened the door.

"Oh." Buffy took in the tableau before her; a salaciously shirtless Spike was pinned to the floor by a ravishingly rumpled Will...who were both looking at her with the most adorable boyish hand-in-the-cookie jar way. "I thought you were hurt, not rolling around on the floor like five year old twinlets! Give me a little warning if this is gonna be a nightly thing, huh?" she said jokingly. Buffy either completely missed their slight sighs of relief, or she didn't understand what they were for...regardless she left the twins to their own devices, shaking her head and chuckling.

Will and Spike looked at each other for a long moment.

"Five year olds, huh?" Spike suddenly thrust his pelvis up, his reaction to Buffy's unexpected presence and their compromising position obvious.

"Definitely not five," he said with a leer. Will smiled slowly and lowered his mouth to Spike's ear.

"You know...I really want to give her a 'warning.' But I might just have to settle for you instead..."

"Nightly?"

* * *

Buffy closed the door and practically ran into her room, visions of Spike's chest and Will's sexily mussed hair running through her head. She was ridiculously happy that they had been so embarrassed at being caught horsing around. It was kind of cute. But it had given her time to gather her thoughts and form a coherent, semi-intelligent sentence. They would never know she'd run it through her head three times before trusting herself to speak it. What you don't tell anyone can't hurt you!

She sank onto her bed, ignoring her body's persistent arousal. No. She was emphatically completely and totally not aroused. Because she was NOT allowed to be attracted to them. She had a boyfriend. She had Riley. Good old Reliable Riley. In fact, he was a great guy she was incredibly lucky to have. Yep. He did it for her. Every time. OK, so maybe not EVERY TIME. But...a couple of times was fine, right? It was a fairly consistent couple of times, too, when she was horny enough to hump a lamppost...

Whatever, a lot of women didn't even have orgasms when they had sex. So she should just count her blessings and appreciate Riley. Not everyone had it as good as her. Riley didn't beat her, bought her gifts, was attentive and polite. He might be a little pushy when he wanted something, and sometimes seemed to have a wad of cotton in his ears, but hey, who didn't from time-to-time? Riley was a GREAT guy and she was LUCKY to have him.

"_You already said that_." a smug voice informed her. Buffy wisely chose to ignore it. Riley's greatness and her luck were a matter of public record in Buffy-land.

"_Also called DENIAL._" the same voice piped up. Really, Buffy should consider clearing out those annoying voices that popped up from time to time. Including the purely sexual one that kept replaying that tableau with the twins, only this time they were naked and she was not going there. Nope.

"_PSB is on to something._" WTF, now her voices were ganging up on her? That was so not fair! Buffy buried her face into her pillow and let out a muffled scream. God. She was so sick. Here she was, body throbbing with sexual tension, and instead of her loving, great--

"_There it is again_."

--AMAZING boyfriend, she was lusting after her two British roommates. Who didn't need her here and would surely kick her out if she ever tried anything. They'd admitted they didn't need a roommate, so that wouldn't stop them from giving her the boot. And even the annoying voice had to admit this was a REALLY good deal.

Besides, The Twins made really good friends, fun and easy to talk to. They were intelligent, well read, and smart. (Where was Unbecomingly Smug Buffy voice when you needed her? Intelligent and smart were PRACTICALLY the same word!)

"_Twinlets have enough to need both._"

This time Buffy punched her poor, unsuspecting pillow. Yes, they were friends, emphasis on the "_friends_" part. She would not be doing ANYTHING to jeopardize that. Nope. Nothing. Besides, she really did like it here, and had free eye candy on tap. What more could a girl ask for?

"_Org--_"

NOTHING.

The phone rang, brining some minor relief to Buffy's traumatized and slightly schizophrenic mind now that she had something else to concentrate on. Ooooohhhh! Maybe it was Willow! She could use a good girl time.

"Hello?" It came out way too perky and eagerly hopeful.

"Ah...Buffy?" Riley's slightly confused voice washed over her. Buffy flopped back down on the bed.

"Hey. What's going on?"

"I just wanted to apologize for missing your move in. I heard it went well. Maybe I can take you to dinner tomorrow to make up?"

"Yeah, sure, that sounds great," she said without much enthusiasm.  
Oh! Yeah, you should totally come pick me up! I can't wait for you to meet my Twinlets."

"...Your what?"

"Oh, Will and Spike. Lorne dubbed them 'Twinlets' today, and I liked it, so I'm gonna keep it. But I'm really tired from all that moving and unpacking, so I'm going to hit the sack, alright?"

"Yeah, sure." Buffy was too distracted to notice the slightly put-upon tone.

"Bye Riley."

"Bye Babe." Buffy blindly reached with the phone receiver, finally settling it in its cradle. With a contented sigh, she snuggled into her newly made bed, comfortable in her favorite Yummy Sushi pajamas and began drifting off to dreamland.

"_Funny how Riley managed to chase away all that UST with a 'hello.' Wonder how the Twins would do it?_" Damn Unbecomingly Smug Buffy and her insistence at getting the last word!

* * *

_A/N: So...yeah. Probably one of the weirdest chapters I've ever written in my life, but I had fun. I laughed in my little room in Paris and it was fun. I do hope you enjoyed it. And YES, we all know that, in the beginning, Spuffy and even Spillfy are idiots, thinking they don't belong together or something stupid like that. What losers. That's such a waste of good sex time..._


	6. Trouble in Paradise

Buffy put the finishing touches on her make-up with time to spare. She was dressed in a skirt that hugged her curves and a pink tube top which showed off her flat, toned stomach. Times like these made her thankful she was athletic.

She'd spent the day unpacking the rest of her stuff and familiarizing herself with the apartment. She'd quickly realized the Twinlets were not stereotypical bachelors; the refrigerator was fully stocked, and the house had a warm and inviting feel to it, as opposed to the Spartan environments she was used to (read: Riley's place, where she'd never felt truly at home). And the Twins were wonderful, leaving a pot of coffee and some croissants on the table for her when she dragged herself out of bed at twelve. Hey, classes hadn't started yet, she was totally with the vegging.

Yeah, she had it good.

She let out a contented sigh, running the comb through her straight blonde hair. Life was really great right now. Business was still steady, Faith and Robin were settling nicely into cohabitation, and she was about to start her last semester! She'd have a degree in business communication in...five months? Then she could really devote her time to their dojo and weapons shop. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she failed to hear the entrance of her new roomies until Spike stuck his head in the door.

"Going somewhere, luv?" the seductive British voice purred. Cor, she was beautiful. Her blonde hair fell in waves down her back, and he ached to run his hands through it. Her tight pants and that sexy little top just accentuated her womanly curves. The pink was beautiful against her golden skin, like a Goddess...Spike mentally cringed as his thoughts took a distinctly poetic turn. So not going there.

"Huh? Oh! Spike! Hey! Yeah, Riley's taking me on a "I'm sorry I was a jackass" date," she said with a small smile. Spike immediately perked up. Trouble in Paradise!

"Do tell."

"Oh, no, it's not as bad as it sounds. He's actually apologizing 'cause he had something to do yesterday and couldn't help me move in." Spike felt himself deflate a little at that. Stupid buggering ponce did not deserve her. No one deserved her, not even him and Will...except they'd be the ones that did the best by her, that was for damned sure!

"Ah. Well, do you have a few minutes before? We want to ask you something." Buffy looked up, intrigued.

"Yeah. Why?"

"Oh no. You're not getting that out of me just yet! Will'd kill me! Follow me, my lady," Spike said with a gallant sweep of his arm and a low bow. Buffy giggled, proceeding him into the kitchen where Will sat, his tie loose and a manuscript spread in front of him. He looked up, and Buffy felt her heart skip when he smiled at her, the skin around his crystal blue eyes crinkling.

"'lo, pet," he murmured, "have a nice day?" Buffy simply nodded enthusiastically, not trusting herself to speak. She was suddenly VERY aware that Spike was just inches behind her, the heat of his body surrounding her.

"Find everything OK?" Spike's voice was deep and rumbley, sending strange sparks flowing across her skin.

"Y-yeah. Thanks for the coffee and croissants. That was a great prezzie!"

"My idea," Spike said proudly. He looked so cute with his boyish grin, so proud of himself. Buffy fought down the urge to pull him into her and--

"Yeah, yeah. ANYWAYS," Will cut through Buff's bordering-on-naughty thoughts, "on the way over, Spike and I thought it might be nice if we threw a house warming party."

"You know, you meet our friends, we meet yours, have a little bit of drama and become one big happy family?" Spike finished. The entire room brightened with Buffy's delighted smile.

"That is such a great idea! We can have hot dogs and hamburgers and daiquiris and beer, with some music and maybe a few of those funny 'look like a fool while you bond' games! Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everyone! This is such an amazingly good idea!" she squealed, rushing to give Will a huge bear hug. He reveled in her closeness, fighting back a sigh when it was over far too quickly. Spike was the next to receive her attentions, sharing a look with his brother over the top of Buffy's. She was riding high, prancing around the kitchen and making party plans like there was no tomorrow. The twins just watched her in amusement, content to let her throw her party. They were in the awkward stage where the apartment was still mostly their home, but they wanted Buffy to feel completely comfortable.

"This Saturday? Can we do it this Saturday? Is that enough time to get it together? Or should we wait? What about Sunday! That's a whole extra day, and really, no one does anything on Sundays--"

"Pet!" Will cut her off with a laugh, "I think Saturday will be fine!" Buffy stopped and blushed a pretty red.

_Wonder if she blushed all the way down_, Spike thought, cocking his head to the side and contemplating a naked, blushing Buffy. Ah, but such things were better left alone...for the moment.

"Sorry, I was babbling, I know. I do that sometimes, when I get excited or, uh--" Buffy's confession was interrupted by the ringing of her cell phone.

"Oops, that's Riley! Gotta run!" Both Will and Spike struggled to hide their distaste at the name. "But I will totally you see you later! We have party planning to do!" They walked her to the door, her excitement palpable on the air.

"The bloody git summons her with a TEXT MESSAGE?" Spike growled, his jealousy and hatred of the stupid dumbfuck dating Buffy--who he hadn't even seen a picture of, much less met--grating on him. "He didn't even have the decency to come to the door!" Will wasn't as open as Spike with it, but he felt the same way.

* * *

"Hey Babe," Riley said as Buffy slid into his car. He went to kiss her, but she was babbling excitedly about some house warming thing her roommates wanted to throw. He tried several more times, Buffy absently avoiding him, until he was almost completely in her seat, Buffy pressed up against the window.

"Uh, Riley? What are you doing?" Buffy asked, looking at him like he had three heads. Riley pinched his face in irritation, sitting back in his seat with a disgusted sigh.

"I was _trying _ to kiss my girlfriend, who was too busy talking to notice," he said irritably. Buffy felt a strange mixture of guilt and annoyance wash over her.

"Sorry," she said meekly, leaning over to kiss him.

"Forget about it," Riley muttered, jerking the car into reverse. He pulled out of the parking lot, his shoulders bunched in irritation. Buffy crossed her arms and stared out the window, her good mood effectively shattered. Riley pulled onto the interstate, the tension thick between them.

"I'm sorry," Riley gruffly forced out. "I didn't mean to snap, I just haven't seen you in a few days. I mean, REALLY seen you, and...I'm sorry." Buffy continued looking out the window, still annoyed despite the apology. She sighed, realizing that the night would turn into a complete disaster if she didn't give a little.

"It's fine. I'm sorry I was ignoring you, I'm just really excited about everyone meeting my roommates. They're going to be a big part of my life in the future, you know? I just want everyone to get along." Riley fought down the flash of annoyance and jealousy that the mention of those MEN she was living with brought on. Buffy was his girl friend; if she was living with any guy, it should be him. It just wasn't right otherwise. But he could still convince her. If these people were so great, he was sure they'd let her out of the lease before the year was up.

"I get it, babe," he said, reaching over to put his hand on her thigh. "I'm just stressed. Work and all. But how about we just get to the restaurant, and you can tell me all about this party and your new digs?"

"That sounds great," Buffy said with a smile.

Dinner went surprisingly well. Riley was attentive and engaging, almost like when they had first started dating. He even walked Buffy to her door, something he hadn't done in...forever. She stopped at her lighted stoop, smiling at her newly restored mood and the prospect of getting in some quality planning time with her Twinlets.

* * *

"This was an amazing date, Riley," she said sincerely. "Really, I had a great time." She leaned in and gave Riley a slow kiss goodbye, feeling almost like they were on their first date. She pulled away, content with everything in her life, and rummaged through her purse to find her keys. She pulled them out with a triumphant smile, and fell into Riley when he pulled her forcefully to him, his insistent lips on her own surprised ones. She was too astonished for a moment, until she felt him pulling her hips to his burgeoning erection, one hand trying to slip underneath the knee-length skirt she wore.

"Riley!" she cried against his lips. She pushed against his chest, trying to get him off her. The middle of the hall was not where they should be doing this! But he wouldn't let go. She tried again, and finally resorted to her martial arts training, pinching a nerve near his elbow. He pushed away from her with a cry of pain.

"What the fuck Buffy?"

"Riley! What were you doing?" He looked at her with dumb amazement.

"What was I...I was kissing my girl friend, Buffy! We went out, had a good time, I thought we were gonna...you know"-- He made a vague motion with his hands --"make it a GREAT night."

"Riley. It's my first night in the apartment. Not only do I want to, ah, cause a scene in the hallway, I don't want to have anyone over until I've had a chance to get into a rhythm with Will and Spike. You know, feel them out, really become a part of the apartment?" Buffy was struggling to get her feelings across to Riley. She just didn't feel right bringing Riley into her space yet. She hadn't yet made it hers-hers, and she needed a little more understanding with her other roommates before Riley spent the night. She knew they wouldn't say anything about it, but still...it was one of those unspoken things you did when you lived with other people. But Buffy could see Riley didn't understand.

"I thought we were having a good time, Buff," he said sulkily. He looked like a petulant child when he did that.

"We did! We are! Riley, just because I don't want to have sex with you doesn't mean I'm having a bad time," Buffy said with a sigh. Why did there have to be something wrong when she didn't want to have sex? Not even men wanted sex all the time, not even Riley.

"Yeah, yeah, OK," Riley said, annoyance lacing his words. "Have a great night, Buffy." He gave her a peck on the cheek and was gone before Buffy could say anything else. If Buffy wasn't in the mood, well...he didn't really need her.

Will and Spike heard the jangle of Buffy's keys in the door and the sound of two voices in the hall...one of them definitely male.

"I swear if she brings that lug in here I'll--"

"Do nothing," Will interrupted. While he'd love nothing more than to help his brother grill Riley, they had to keep in mind that Buffy was nothing more than their roommate. "Maybe he's a good person, good for Buffy. We haven't even met him." Sometimes Will really hated being the rational one...but Lord help the world when HE lost control.

"Good people do not text their girl to pick her up for a date," Spike growled sulkily, his attention riveted to the small hall that hid the door. They heard the handle turn, and both tensed to see who would walk through, twin sighs of relief escaping as Buffy walked in--alone. Alone and definitely not happy.

"Beer?" Spike asked casually, extending an unopened Heineken to his newest roommate. He tossed an impish smile her way, and his blue eyes were filled with tacit understanding. Buffy felt relieved and a little shy. She knew they could feel the tension in her, could read her like a book. The look Spike was giving her spoke volumes. And she was grateful that they wouldn't make her talk about it, as well as for the much-needed beer. She snagged the proffered treat and was immediately pulled down to the couch, seated between the twins.

Will gave her a brief smile before his eyes flitted back to the manuscript he was reading, red marks and comment littering the page before her. Spike was absorbed in the program that was currently showing on the TV.

"_Passions_?" Buffy asked incredulously.

"Best bloody show on the telly, pet," Spike said without a hint of shame or embarrassment.

"You're serious?" she asked, fixing him with a dubious look.

"Spike never jokes about _Passions_," Will piped up, his attention still firmly fixed on the pages before him.

"Yeah, well, this is serious stuff!" Spike protested, tongue in cheek. Buffy looked from the soap opera to Spike and back again, trying to reconcile this British punk-looking VP publishing exec with...Passions. And strangely, it fit.

"Well, clue me in, bleach boy!" she instructed, settling into the comfortable couch, Spike's voice washing over her. Maybe this night could be rescued, after all.

"Well, you see, there's this right witchy bird named Tabitha..."


	7. Horse Play

"It needs more capers!"

"No, it needs more tomatoes. That's why it's called i _tomato_ /i sauce you ponce."

"Are you daft? More tomato will just...bugger the whole thing up. Don't you bloody well do it!"

"Or what, you'll throw your capers at me? Scary!"

"Capers? No. I have the ultimate weapon--diced onions!"

"The vampire in me cringes. The scary vegetable-wielding poofter is going to throw diced onions at me. I'm shakin' in mah booties," Will said sarcastically. Spike's eyes narrowed on his spoon wielding twin.

"Call me a poofter again and I will stake you," he warned. Will raised the wooden implement, the tomato sauce running down it like blood.

"Is that a promise...poofter?"

Spike launched himself at Will, tackling the sauce-spoon wielding miscreant to the floor. Laughing, they started an all-out wrestling match on the floor, control of the red-stained spoon the main objective. Will had the upper hand, smearing a thick streak of red on his opponent's forehead with a victorious laugh.

"Gone native have we?" he said, trying to keep the spoon away from his face while laughing uproariously. Spike grabbed Will's hand and started forcing it toward his face, trying to land a solid hit on the thrashing body beneath him.

"Hold still you little bugger!" Will suddenly bucked his hips, sending Spike tumbling over him. He was up in a flash, holding the spoon like a sword.

"En guard!" Spike scrambled to his feet, dodging the wooden spoon. He ran into the dining area, grabbing a wooden candlestick. Will stopped short upon seeing his opponent armed, calculating the best way to take him down.

"My name is Inigo Montoya," Spike intoned. "You killed my father. Prepare to die!" They started fighting in earnest, wood clashing. Will found his back against the wall and drew Will in with a feint, placing a light punch to his gut before running into the den and jumping over a couch.

"You coward! My name is--"

"Stop saying that!"

"INIGO MONTOYA! You killed my father! Prepare to die!"

"You've got an overdeveloped sense of vengeance. It's going to get you into trouble someday." Spike doubled over laughing at the unexpected quote, and Will used his distraction to launch himself over the couch and send them both sprawling to the floor...again. They came together, their 'swords' sliding to the hilt.

"My sword's bigger than yours," Spike taunted, unable to contain the laughter bubbling in his chest.

"That's not what ma says," Will said with a wicked grin.

"One movie at a time, git," Spike commanded, trying to dislodge Will's dead weight on top of him.

"Good heavens. Are you still trying to win?" Will asked, pushing himself on his forearms to hover over his gasping brother.

"St-stop with the...the..." Spike dissolved into helpless laughter when Will started tickling him. "Oi! Stoppit!"

"Say Uncle!" Will demanded, his fingers digging into the ticklish spot on his lower ribs.

"Never!" Will suddenly found himself on the receiving end of his own medicine, Spike's equally talented fingers probing his ticklish ribs. The twins rolled around on the floor, oblivious to the world in their attempts at one-up-manship.

"Wow, if I'd known making dinner was THIS easy, I'd have learned how to a loooooong time ago!" a sarcastic voice cut in. The twins looked up to see Buffy towering over them, her arms crossed over her chest, an amused twinkle in her eye.

"Now luv," Will said in his best parental voice, "you know it's a damned good thing horse play has nothing to do with cooking."

"Yeah, cause it would suck for you to be so bad at messing around," Spike finished. Will grinned at Buffy's impersonation of a fish. Two days ago, the twins had come home to a smoking kitchen and Buffy frantically trying to turn of the smoke detector.

"Oi, pet! You make a cute guppy," Spike snickered. Buffy's eyes narrowed. Without a word, she walked out of the room and into the kitchen. The twins exchanged a worried glance.

"What I'd do?" Spike asked. Will just shook his head in bafflement. Women and their logic were well beyond him. Buffy chose that moment to return to the room, her hands behind her back.

"Guppy?" she asked Spike pointedly. He gave her a totally unapologetic shrug.

"I just call 'em like I see 'em, ducks!" he said with a leer.

"I see." Spike suddenly felt something cold and wet smack the center of his forehead and slide down his surprised 'O' face. Will couldn't control his laughter as the huge dollop of Ben and Jerry's Phish Food slid down his brother's face. That was until a large, cold glob found its way on his pristine white work shirt. Then it was Spike's turn to laugh. Buffy was just congratulating herself on a job well done when two pairs of cerulean blue orbs pinned her to the wall. Her eyes widened as she realized targeting both of them may have been a little bit ambitious.

"That wasn't very nice, pet," Will said, his voice a seductive purr to Buffy's ears. She felt her breath quicken and that uncomfortably familiar ache starting.

"Waste of bloody good ice cream that is," Spike added, wiping the sticky sweet off his face and...oh GOD, licking it off his fingers. He couldn't possibly know the effect that had on her, those long, slender musicians' finger, coated with sticky chocolate disappeared...and reappeared...and ugh. She saw Will out of the corner of her eye...taking off his shirt? Her eyes bugged. No. Shirtless roommates were bad badness! Of the incredibly sexy kind!

God, his chest was incredible. He was Adonis come to life, with those pecs and those abs and that lickable chest. No. No, Will didn't get to exist in the lickable category. He didn't even get to exist is any category that wasn't marked platonic. But how could anyone resist perfection...squared?

With a strangled sound, Buffy darted out of the room, slamming her door and quickly locking it. She sat on the bed, her eyes glazed, images of shirtless Spikes and Wills flitting through her head. This was so not good. She stared unseeingly at the carton of ice cream until she decided a little pity party was totally in order.

Spike and Will watched as Buffy sprinted from the room, the sound of her door closing ringing in her ears. They shared a contemplative look before dashing after the blonde. They pounded on the closed door.

"Now pet," Spike said reasonably, "it's not fair to start something you can't finish. Come out here and fight like a man!" Buffy's head whipped around, ice cream half way to her mouth.

"You better hope I only fight like a man!" she growled at. The nerve of those...boys!

_Not boys!_ that annoying voice that lived in her head piped up. The sound of the Twinlet's laughter just incensed her further.

"Feisty," Will said appreciatively, wiggling his eyebrows at Spike. But Spike had that devilish grin on his face that meant he was UP to something. When a hot, warm mouth attached itself to his right nipple, Will got a really good glimpse of what Spike was up to. "Fuck!" he swore softly, glaring down at his impish brother. It did no good, and he was powerless to stop him.

"You had better apologize!" Buffy's heated voice came through the door. Spike licked a slow, wet rail down Will's chest, savoring the soft groan that escaped his captive's lips. "Well?"

"You...you might need to come out here and sh-SHOW"--Spike brushed against the bulge in Will's dress slacks--"us what it means to fight like a girl," Will managed to get out through sheer force of will. He belatedly processed footsteps approaching the door, and was still pretty out of it when Spike quickly righted himself, placing his body slightly in between the irate blonde and the cluelessly aroused Will.

"You wanna see how a girl fights? Alright. Tomorrow, 6 P.M., my dojo. I'll give you a workout you'll never forget!" And with that, Buffy slammed the door shut and strode back to her tasty ice cream treat, trying to ignore the part of her that was wishing it were something else she was tasting. UGH, she already had a boyfriend, she didn't need two more!

Spike smirked at the door, thinking Ms. Buffy was going to be in for a little surprise when she sparred with them tomorrow night. He turned to his confused and highly aroused twin.

"In the mean time, how about I give you a workout tonight?" he suggested. Everyone forgot the simmering tomato sauce until the newly reconnected fire alarm went off for the second time that week.


	8. Fighting Like Boys and Girls

It was 5:57 P.M. on the dot, and the Twins were ready for some action. They walked into the welcome area of the expansive dojo.

"Nice place," Will commented, eyeing the space appreciatively.

"Thanks. Faith and I helped design it." Will and Spike briefly lost the ability to talk. Buffy was dressed in a skin tight training outfit that left little to the imagination. To make it perfect, it was black with red trim. She looked powerful, dangerous, and absolutely fuckable.

"Come on, I'll give you the grand tour." The main room was large, with a high-quality mat spanning the whole floor. There were mirrors on one wall; the rest were covered training weapons of every shape and size. Will wondered briefly how anyone ever got to the ones near the ceiling. A small hallway led to three smaller training rooms for more intimate classes. There was a pommel horse, punching bag, and other strength training equipment in one room. All in all, it was a professional yet inviting space.

"I'd show you the shop, but I don't have my keys. Sorry."

"Not a problem, pet," Will said a bit distractedly. Buffy's ass was swaying enticingly in front of him.

"So…you boys going to fight in business suits?" Buffy sassed, her hands on her hips. Will smiled slowly, pressing his tongue against the roof of his mouth and taking a moment to look Buffy up and down.

"If that's your _pleasure_, pet," he rumbled. The way he uttered pleasure should be illegal in all 50 states and banned by the Geneva Convention.

"Th-that's OK," she mumbled, unable to come up with a response, "we've got lockers."

"Lead the way, kitten."

* * *

While the Twins were changing, Buffy busied herself warming up and emphatically, definitely, and completely **not** thinking about the two gorgeous, possibly naked bodies in her locker rooms. God, she was sick. What part of no lusting after the roommates did she not get? And Spike hadn't meant pleasure in...THAT way. Stupid run away brain! She really needed to get over this most unfortunate attraction. No good could come out of it.

Buffy finished stretching, shaking out her arms and legs. She cut a series of acrobatic flips, testing her muscles and enjoying the way her muscles smoothly responded to her commands. She stopped, breathing lightly, and was startled by the slow clapping that rang out behind her.

"Impressive," Spike drawled. Buffy just stared. They were both shirtless, their sculpted chest and abs open to her perusal. And what a pair of chests and abs they were! Like…those sculptures she'd always seen pictures of in art class. Perfection. Her wandering eyes traveled downwards. They both wore loose black pants which wouldn't hinder movement; it contrasted with the smooth pale skin that she wanted to lick her way up…But NO! She didn't! She wanted to kick their sorry asses for even suggesting she was a weak little girl. Girls kicked serious ass, didn't they know that? Buffy clung frantically to yesterday's anger, trying to squelch the lusty thoughts that were flying through her head. Anger good. Lustyness bad.

"She looks a little distracted, Will," Spike purred, sidling up to his brother. Buffy's breath caught. They were so close. No one should be allowed to stand that close to someone else. It was...wrong. Very very wrong. Spike's mouth was right at Will's ear. "What should we do about that?"

Spike suddenly grabbed Will's ear between his teeth, nibbling on the sensitive lobe. Will gasped and closed his eyes, rocking back into the strong body behind him. He brought one hand up to caress Spike's chest, trailing slowly up and oh-so-slowly down. He turned, fully facing his mirror image. Buffy, entranced, took a step towards the pair.

Full lips caressed each other, strong arms wrapping around a muscular chest. Lean hips crashed together. It was...

"I think little Miss Buffy's scared."

Buffy was pulled violently out of her day dream. She focused on the smirking faces before her, her anger starting to rise. Good. Anger was good. Anger she could handle. Erotic images of twins--not so much. And they were so going down.

"Yeah, I am," she said casually, her own lips twisting into a smirk at the dumbfounded expressions before her. "Scared I'm going to break my new roommates. But don't worry, I'll be gentle." Spike took a challenging step towards her, settling into a neutral ready stance.

"But what if I want it hard and…rough?" It took Buffy a moment to get the innuendo.

"Ugh! You're a...a pig, Spike!"

"Oink oink, baby," he laughed. He was just distracted enough that Buffy got in the first hit. And the fight was on.

Will circled the pair who was...dancing. That was the only word for it. They were trading punches and jabs left and right, but it was so fluid and easy, to call it fighting was unjust. He shook off his poetic musings and started studying his prey. This was going to be a lot of fun.

Buffy landed a quick double-punch right above Spike's solar plexus, smiling in satisfaction as the grunt she forced out of him. But it was short lived when her next move was blocked and Spike sent her sprawling on the mat. She tucked and rolled up, tripping slightly as her toe caught the edge of Spike's sweep. He was good. When she'd challenged them to this fight, she hadn't expected them to know…well, anything, honestly. But they knew several different disciplines, and just enough of each to make it very interesting for her. Her distraction let Spike slip under her defenses and land a quick blow to her jaw.

Before he had a chance to follow up, Buffy used his momentum to throw him over her shoulder; but Spike merely landed on his feet, spinning her around in one fluid motion. Damn, he was really good. Buffy shut off her brain, letting her training take over completely..

God, she was amazing. Her trim body moved in all the right ways, and her little fists were hard a vicious. She was perfect. And very very good. He'd figured out about three punches into the fight that she was better than him, but he could keep his own. And if Buffy made one slip, he'd have himself a real good day. But like he said…she was good. He could feel Will circling them, watching. He'd get his turn. Right now, Spike was having the time of his life.

Buffy tried a very risky move that Spike managed to deflect at the last second, sending them both sprawling to the mattress. He nearly groaned when he fell on top of her, their pelvises meeting, her heat searing him. Green eyes glittered up at him, and he forgot for a moment where he was and what he was doing. Before Spike could even think of something to say, he was flipped over and pinned to the mat, the green eyes above him and glowing triumphantly.

"Ha! What do you think about girls an—oomph!"

Will chose that moment to tackle the blonde beauty straddling his brother. Not that he begrudged his brother his good fortune…and to be fair, Will i _had_ /i let him enjoy it for a good ten seconds or so. But now said beauty was writhing rather enticingly under him, and Will forgot all about his brother. Oh, she was definitely going to kill him one way or another.

They rolled on the mat, each one struggling for dominance. He had no idea how it happened, but Will somehow ended up on his back, slightly winded, somewhere above Buffy's head. The firecracker sprung up, settling into a defensive stance as Will pulled himself up off the ground. He smiled predatorily. Oh, this was going to be FUN.

Will's smirk sent a shiver down Buffy's spine. No no no no no. They were NOT allowed to look at her like that. It was sexy. And irresistible. It really made her want to say fuck it and slam him down on the mat and—Buffy's eyes widened when he took her legs out from under her. She landed on her ass, hard.

"That was just sad," Will said disapprovingly.

"I'm so sorry," Buffy said, raising up on her knees. She was suddenly eye level with Will's crotch, and she couldn't stop herself from taking a contemplative glance. The pants were too loose to show her much of anything but…a girl could always dream.

Will's eyes went wide. Bloody hell, was she…she was! Luminous green eyes traveled up to meet icy blue ones. One hand snaked around the back of his leg. What the…

"I promise I'll do better." Buffy fluttered her eyelashes coyly at Will and yanked her arm forward. With a startled shout, Will found himself airborne and staring at the ceiling. The bint had yanked his knees right out from under him! He landed board-straight on the mat, the wind forced out of his lungs. Buffy collapsed on the floor giggling insanely.

"You…bitch…" he wheezed. Buffy just laughed.

Spike was still laying where they'd left him, replaying the image of Buffy straddling him: her warmth and scent surrounding, his mind traveling to a happy place. She was bloody perfect, his muse, his inspiration, his—

"SPIKE! Did I break him?"

"I dunno luv. He didn't have much brain to knock around. Hey, git, you in there?"

"Sod off."

"Awe, is widdle Spikey a sore woser?" Buffy asked teasingly. Spike stuck his tongue out at her, which did not cause any sort of lusty images to soar through her mind. Nope, none at all.

"Well, I can't speak for little Spike," he said with a roll of his hips, "but Big Spike didn't really consider a gorgeous blonde straddling 'is hips losing, yeah?" Buffy's face contorted into the most adorable face, her perfect nose wrinkling delicately.

"You…you…you PIG! I'll kick your ass five way to Sunday!"

"That a promise, luv?" Spike asked, pressing his teeth behind his tongue.

"Can you do me too?" Will asked with a grin. Buffy crossed her arms, hoping neither of them noticed her flushed face.

"That's it. Get up. I'm kicking both of your asses. AGAIN!"

"Good, because I got shafted!" Will complained.

"Not yet you haven't," Spike murmured with a wicked leer.

Then Buffy swung at Will's head, and they were off.


	9. Every Party Needs A

"Will! Hey, git! Where's my blue shirt?" Spike hollered, tearing through his drawer for a second time. The shirt was not where it was supposed to be. In desperation, he upended the drawer, which still didn't have the blue shirt he wanted.

"You mean MY blue tee?" a slightly annoyed voice mumbled through a toothbrush. Spike whirled around to see his twin in the very shirt he'd been searching for. And it definitely wasn't Will's!

"Oi! That's my shirt you git!"

"It is not! Da gave this to me last Christmas."

"You stupid ponce! He gave you the green shirt!" Spike grabbed said shirt out of the messy pile he'd made, chucking at his stupid, unhelpful brother. "The blue one was mine!"

"Bugger that! This isn't revisionist history JAMES," Will snarled, tossing the green thing at his brother's stupidly annoying face.

Spike froze and slowly took a measured step towards his dense, irritating, hard headed fuck of a brother. How dare he--

"HELP!" Two blonde heads whipped towards the distraught woman who dashed through their door. They forgot their tiff, concentrating on the distressed woman in front of them.

"Buffy?"

"What's wrong?"

Her eyes were wide and panicked, and she was struggling to catch her breath. The twins felt a sense of foreboding pass over them. They converged on her, worry shining in their expressive eyes. Buffy felt a little overwhelmed for a moment, her brain short circuiting. S_o pretty...  
_

"Buffy?" Spike asked. Was she hurt? Was she having an asthma attack? Did she have asthma? Maybe she was allergic! That would be bad. Or maybe she'd been bitten by something poisonous? Oh, no. Had she tried to--God forbid--cook something again?

"Buffy, luv, what's wrong?" Will asked, frantically searching her for some sort of wound. Buffy shook herself out of her stupor. Right. Huge problem she needed help with.

"Which earrings should I wear?" she gasped, raising the dangly baubles so they could see them both. Each twin started at a different earring in dumbfounded amazement.

"Earrings?" Spike uttered in total disbelief.

"Bloody EARRINGS?" Will echoed, turning his incredulous gaze towards his irksome female roommate. Buffy blinked owlishly. Why were they looking at her like that?

"You come running in here, screeching like the soddin' world is going to end..."

"For accessory advice?" Will finished. Buffy wrinkled her nose in the way both Twinlets found absolutely adorably endearing.

"Choosing the wrong pair of earrings? Totally Apocalypse worthy! And did you just say 'accessory advice?' "

Spike snickered at that, leering at his brother and rocking back on his heels. Cocky bastard.

"I'm very involved in the literary world. That includes magazines of all kinds," Will said snidely.

"Uh huh," Buffy muttered, stifling a laugh. Men could be so easy sometimes. Will growled in irritation. Just because he read a few of those magazines FOR WORK did not...wait. Why was he getting defensive? HE was not the one who had run in all breathless and damsely-in-distressish and scared the living daylights out of everyone. But he was the one thinking damsely and...like Buffy. The editor in him shuddered and rebelled. It was time to get Ms. Summers gone.

"Out!" he commanded, pushing Buffy towards the door.

"Wait!"

"No. Out! Need to finish dressing, they'll be here"--the doorbell rang--"now." With that, Will slammed the door shut.

"Which ones!" Buffy wailed mournfully at the closed door.

"The long silver ones!" one of the them hollered back before she heard a strange thump against the door. Buffy rolled her eyes and made her way to the door. The bell sounded again.

"I'm coming!" she yelled. Stupid boys. She should have invited Willow over; some good girl time would have calmed her down. Buffy opened the door...to a surprising attractive black man. He looked a bit startled to see her opening the door.

"Gunn?"

"Buffy?" What was...a small, blonde firecracker who could keep her own sparring with two very talented twins...

"YOU'RE the new roomie?"

"YOU know the twinlets?" They spoke at the same time. They laughed, Buffy ushering the policeman in.

"Wow. Small world," Buffy commented. Who'd have thought Xander's random classified-found roommate knew her very own classified-found Twins?

"Yeah, long time no see. Where are the punks?"

"Oh, they're still getting dressed. I think I interrupted a fight about...something."

"Yeah, they do that from time to time. They're pretty...physical," Gunn hedged, trying to feel out just what Buffy knew about her new roommates.

"You're telling me," Buffy groaned. Some of her muscles still twinged from that dual workout she'd gotten the other day. She caught the look Gunn was throwing her and blushed. "We sparred the other day. They're pretty good. Actually, they're very good. And...physical."

"Yeah," Gunn said noncommittally, hiding his smile. He knew just how enamored his friends were with the blonde, and he was quite sure they'd taken every opportunity to get as close to her as possible.

"Gunn!" Will and Spike came barreling into the main room and started pounding their friend on the back. They seemed to have settled whatever had been bothering them. Will was wearing a shirt that matched his blue eyes; Spike was wearing a dark green one that set his off beautifully. "I see you've already met Buffy."

"Actually, we know each other," Buffy said, flashing a smile at her friend's roommate. Will fought down the flash of jealousy at the different ways Gunn could know Buffy. And none of them made him very happy.

"Yeah, my roommate's Buffy's friend."

"Remember Xander? He helped me move in."

"Oh, right, the Whelp," Will said with a bit of relief. Wouldn't do to have Gunn going after their gir--roommate. Divided loyalties never worked out well. i _Tell yourself another one, mate,_ /i a voice in his head insisted.

The doorbell rang again, and Buffy rushed over to answer it.

"Hello, is this sex-a-holics anonymous?"

"Lorne!" Buffy squealed excitedly. "Oh, you brought me prezzies!"

"Oh no you don't. This is for the fine specimen of male perfection you live with and who are you?" Lorne sashayed to the beautiful black man who was currently making a splendid trifecta of manly yummyness with Buffy's Twinlets.

"Gunn," the man said with a little laugh, extending his hand.

"Lorne." The boy wasn't the least bit queer, but eye candy was still eye candy. And he seemed to be taking it rather well.

"Hey B. You know you shouldn't leave your door open. Invites trouble." Faith sauntered in, followed by Robin and Willow. Introductions were made all around; Willow had met Gunn on numerous occasions, but this was a first for Faith, Robin and Lorne. Gunn took an instant liking to them all. They were good people, and as a cop, he was one to judge. It struck him a bit odd that Xander hadn't ever really talked about this obviously close knit group. Only Buffy and Willow. Buffy smiled, thrilled that everything seemed to be going so well.

"Buffy!" she turned to see Spike ushering a woman towards her. A part of her was instantly on jealous alert. "This is Tara. She's...bloody amazing." The shy young woman ducked her head, her hair forming a curtain of protection over her face. Despite the jealousy she wasn't feeling, something about the woman made Buffy want to befriend her. She just had an aura of goodness about her.

"I'm Buffy. How do you know my twinlets?"

"Th-they knew my e-e-ex," she stuttered.

"Know might be the wrong word," Spike said darkly.

"Loath would definitely be more accurate," Will added with a scowl.

"Hey!" Tara protested.

"Pet, Jasmine was bloody insane. She was barmier than Dru!"

"And that's saying a lot," Will said wryly. Buffy didn't miss the look that passed between her roommates. Ooooh, interesting history alert! She'd need to get to the bottom of that…later.

"So you're...gay?" Buffy ventured. Tara glanced at her with a defiance that surprised Buffy.

"I am." There was no stutter, just simple fact. Buffy decided that she really liked the Twinlet's friend.

"Have you met my friend Willow? You two might hit it off..."

* * *

Buffy needed a breather. She wedged herself in one corner, surveying the surroundings. Faith and Robin were deep in conversation with Gunn. Willow and Tara had been pretty inseparable since they'd been introduced. Buffy smiled at the picture they made, both of them sitting close talking animatedly. It was adorable.

Xander had shown up and was talking to an Irishman named...Dan? No. It was something like Doilie. Doyle! That was it...and a very nice man with some sort of skin condition named Clem. Meanwhile, Doyle's pregnant wife Cordelia Was entertaining Spike and Lorne. Cordelia had a snobbish persona, but Buffy was sure when you got past it she was peachy with an extra side of keen. Sure. She looked around the room again, but Spike was no where to be found.

"Didn't figure you for the wall flower type, pet." There he was.

"Oh, you know, just needed a breather," Buffy said, trying to sound chipper.

"Pet." She turned as found herself entranced by understanding blue eyes. She stepped into him, accepting his arms around her with a sigh.

"He said he'd come," she whispered.

"There's still time," Spike murmured, silently cursing the bastard that called himself Buffy's boyfriend. Buffy had been living with them for over almost two weeks, been getting to know them for longer than that, and he'd had yet to set eyes on the bloke. Not that he'd exactly been trying...

"Buffy? What are you doing?" Speak of the devil. Buffy jerked out of Spike's embrace, her startled green eyes meeting Riley's angry brown ones.

"Riley! You...You came!" She joyously flung himself into her boyfriend's arms. "I thought you weren't going to show! I'm so happy you're here!" Buffy was oblivious to the silent clash of wills happening around her. Spike was leveling a cool, assessing gaze at the hulking brute, and Riley was giving off clear "No Trespassing" vibes.

"This is Spike. Spike, this is Riley." Spike nodded to the man, before excusing him to find a beer.

"Buffy, why were you hugging him?" Riley demanded, steeping away from her now that the threat had left.

"Huh?"

"You were all over him when I got here."

"I was upset. I thought you weren't going to come, Spike was just comf--"

"Men don't _comfort _ women, Buffy. Not without wanting some **comfort** in return."

"Riley, that wasn't it at all. I really was upset. But you're here now, and--"

"It's wrong, Buffy. You shouldn't let them touch you." Buffy pressed a hand against her forehead, asking the Powers for some patience.

"Riley. Nothing happened."

"But--"

"No buts, Riley. And if you don't trust me, then maybe we shouldn't be together." With that, Buffy spun on her heel and joined the throng of people in her living room.


	10. It's My Party

Buffy poured herself a very stiff Jack and coke, downing it in one gulp. God, that was absolutely foul! How did Spike and Will drink this stuff? She glared at the bottle full of disgusting liquid, trying to decide whether or not she should have some more. She glanced over her shoulder, where Xander was giving a sulking Riley a pep talk. Definitely more. She poured herself another Jack and coke, minus the coke. There was a bad taste in her mouth she was trying to get rid of.

"Hello, you must be Buffy. I think you're very attractive and well suited for giving Will and Spike orgasms." The alcohol Buffy was currently choking on made her throat burn in very unpleasant ways. Through watery eyes, she could make out a thin woman with light brown hair and a frank expression on her face.

"Anyanka! Bloody hell woman, you're a menace. What did you say?" Will thrust a cup of water at Buffy, which she gratefully took.

"I said—"

"Never mind, I don't think I want to know. You OK luv?" Buffy nodded, her eyes still a little blurry.

"This is Anyanka. She's our secretary-assistant-gopher type person. Her title is a little up in the air, but she's good with money." The woman waved cheerily.

"Ah…hi," Buffy said with a little wave.

"Hello. My name is actually Anya, Will likes to call me Anyanka because it annoys me. I am very please to meet you, and should you ever wish to meet and discuss orgasms or money, you can—"

"Buffy, I need to talk to you." Anya regarded the hulking man trying to catch Buffy's attention. Judging by his possessive demeanor and the way he was clutching Buffy's arm, the two had a thing. They were probably dating, which was unfortunate, because this person was completely unsuited to giving Buffy orgasms. Not that he wasn't attractive and physically pleasing, but they were obviously not compatible. Anya shook her head. People could be so oblivious sometimes. Now Spike and Will? Either one of them, or better yet both, were much better for Buffy. Oh, but she was being impolite.

"Hello, I'm Anya. Are you the man currently giving Buffy orgasms?" she asked with a bright smile. Buffy stifled a giggle at the deer-in-the-headlights look Riley was giving Anya. He could be such a prude sometimes.

"Anya, this is my boyfriend Riley. Riley, this is Anya, Will and Spike's secretary assistant…person." Riley shook his head and promptly ignored the woman. Anyone who said such things out loud was not someone he—or Buffy—should associate with.

"Buffy, I really need to talk to you," he implored, his eyes wide and begging. Buffy sighed and with an apologetic shrug towards Will and Anya lead Riley to her bed room. Will scowled after them, grabbing the bottle of Jack.

Riley glanced around Buffy's room in surprise. This was the first time he'd been in it since the move.

"It's…different," he noted judiciously.

"Yeah," Buffy said, looking around her room. She'd changed a lot of it since moving in here. It felt right, more like who she was now as opposed to who she was when she'd moved in with Faith those years ago. "So, what—"

"I'm sorry." Buffy was surprised by the admission. She hadn't seen this side of Riley in…ages. "I shouldn't have overreacted. I trust you, I do. I just…I saw you in the arms of some other guy I didn't know, and I was just…I was jealous." Riley looked so bashful and apologetic, Buffy couldn't stay mad.

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, too. I might have overreacted a little myself," she said shyly. Riley could be so insufferable, but then he went and did something like this…

"So we're good?" he asked hopefully. Buffy giggled at how open and eager he looked.

"Yeah. We're good." He bent over, his eyes flitting to her lips, then to her eyes, and back. Buffy tilted her head up in anticipation for his kiss.

"Buffy, I…" They broke away with a start, like two high schoolers caught at prom. "Ah."

"No, no problem. Riley, this is Spike. He's my other roommate. Will's twin."

"I can see that," Riley said neutrally. He extended his hand, and the two men exchanged a very brief shake. Neither one of them particularly wanted to be in contact with the other for very long.

"What's up?" Buffy asked.

"Oh. Yeah. Well, Da showed up, and Will and I…Ok, Will would like you to meet him, if you're not, you know, stealing off from the party to shag Captain America." Riley glared at the smirking blonde man.

"Yeah, I'd love to. Ri?"

"I'll be along in a second," he said. Completely aware of Spike's gaze, he laid a soft, lingering kiss on Buffy's lips. "Go have fun."

Spike stared at the hulking brute before following Buffy back to the party. He really did not like that guy, other than he was the undeserving boyfriend of the most amazing woman he'd ever met. The ponce had…shifty eyes. Yeah, that was it.

"Buffy! Hey, Da, meet Buffy!" Will clapped a grey haired man on the back. A rather hassled-looking man turned around, his glasses askew. Buffy couldn't help but giggle at the picture the man made. He was obviously British—the tweed was a dead give away. He had a kind face and a slightly self depreciating smile. Not quite the way she envisioned the Twinlet's father, but he had character.

"Buffy, this is Rupes. Rupes, Buffy," Spike said gallantly.

"Y-yes, well, James I would appreciate it if you could stop calling me that." Buffy covered her mirth; this polite, slightly stuffy man with a high-class English accent who was cleaning his glasses spawned the Twinlets?

"Just as soon as you stop callin' me James…Rupes." The man let out a long suffering sigh and put his glasses back on in defeat.

"Quite. You must be Buffy." He looked flustered, and she took pity on the kindly looking man.

"Buffy is me," she agreed. They shook hands, and Buffy was surprised to see Spike and Will in the older man's twinkling blue eyes. He may present a calm British exterior, but Buffy could see the mischief and snark lurking underneath. Buffy decided then and there to get to know her roommate's father. The Twinlets settled back to watch the meeting with interest.

"So what is it you do Ms. …?"

"Buffy. I'm just Buffy. And I run a dojo and weapons shop here in the city."

"Ah, which one, if I may be so bold?"

"Slayer. The dark haired woman over there is my business partner."

"Of course! Do you know Ms. Jameson? Her children, Meredith and…oh bugger, what's his name? Daniel? Dorian? Something with a D... Oh, I can never remember his name!"

"Dylan," Buffy supplied with a giggle. He was so fussy and adorable! How could she not like the Twinlet's father? The fact that he'd had a hand in making the two men was enough for Buffy to love him.

"Giles!" The four of them turned. And excited Anya rushed up and caught his up in a bear hug. Will and Spike stifled their laughter as Giles tried to figure out what he should do in this situation.

"Ah…yes, hello…Anya. How-how are you?"

"I am very well. I counted my money before arriving here, which put me in a very agreeable mood, so I am searching for an orgasm partner. It's difficult because there are so many couples here, and most people are still very repressed and don't understand that sharing is a very healthy and natural way to exist." None of them had much of a response to that.

"Ah…quite." Buffy noticed Giles was cleaning his glasses again.

"How about we introduce Anyanka to the Whelp? He's single!" Will suggested. Apparently, no one but Anya thought that was a good idea.

It was nearly two in the morning, and the three of them were exhausted. The party had been an unprecedented success. Robin and Faith had been the first to steal away…as usual. Doyle and Cordelia (who was starting to grow on Buffy) had left soon after. Giles had made a gracious exit after a long conversation with Buffy about everything from business to parenting and raising rambunctious twins. Buffy now had a few stories she could hold over her roommate's head should the opportunity present itself. Riley and Xander had left to do some male bonding; Buffy felt a mixture of apathy and disappointment that Riley had bailed on her. On the one hand, she liked unwinding with the Twinlets. But then it would have been nice to curl up with Riley tonight after their positive talk during the party.

Lorne, Gunn, Clem, and Anya had headed off to find a late night breakfast spot. Not surprisingly, Lorne and Anya hit it right off. They had a raucous fight about the merits of B_ella Loves Jenna _ versus_ The Passion of the Christies. _It took a minute for everyone to get that they were fighting about porn; Jenna Jameson to be exact.

But the most exciting point in the evening was when Willow and Tara left—together. The three of them had watched with undisguised glee when they left, standing very close and both looking a little shy. Buffy flopped back on the couch in between the two men, a long sigh escaping her lips.

"Good party." All she got were caveman grunts of agreement from the male section. Eloquent, as usual.

Now that the party was over, all Buffy had to do was concentrate on starting school next week.


	11. Routine Discoveries

When Buffy finally started school, the apartment fell into an easy routine. Every Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday the three roommates would gather at 7:30 for breakfast. Sometimes Will or Spike would feel industrious and make breakfast, but most of the time it was a cereal-and-bagel affair. Then they would all leave; Spike and Will would drop Buffy off at campus, even though it was out of their way. Tuesdays and Fridays Buffy usually slept in before heading to Slayer to take care of paperwork and teach a few classes. Spike and Will both agreed the days we much tougher when Buffy didn't give it a jump start.

Occasionally, Will and Spike would come home to surprise take out or a Buffy made dinner, carefully supervised by Willow and Tara, who had agreed (tentatively) to give Buffy cooking lessons. She wasn't ready to fly solo by any stretch of the imagination, but at least she'd stopped burning the water and the Twins no longer had to lie about liking her food. Much.

Riley studiously avoided the apartment as much as he could, which suited Spike and Will just fine. At least when Buffy was gone they could pretend she was just spending the night with Will. But when Riley stayed over, it was a little difficult to live in Denial. Both the bottle blondes tended to make themselves scares when Captain Cardboard was around. Strangely, Buffy never commented on that, to either side. She never asked them to get along, never lectured them about being childish and immature. She just…let it go.

Riley moments aside, the little apartment was flourishing. It was THE place to be. Buffy's friends had meshed seamlessly with Spike's. The apartment became the Staging Area, as named by Will, where everyone met to go out, get drunk, make plans, or search for anyone who wasn't picking up their cell phone. No one but Xander seemed to mind this course of action. Gunn, who'd become close with Faith and Robin, kept mentioning all of the parties and get-togethers various members of the group were having that Xander had no knowledge of. Xander felt cut out and forgotten. It never occurred to him to pick up the phone and ask someone what was up.

But all in all, life was going great.

Buffy stretched her aching, cramped muscles. She was so sick of studying; she needed to get out, needed to DO something. This midterm was kicking her ass and she needed a time out. Maybe the Twins would be up for some coffee or a walk or anything that got her moving and outdoors. OH! A good sparring session would be perfect!

She knocked on Spike's door, but got no response. Huh. Maybe he didn't want to disturb her and had his headphones on? Buffy slowly pushed the door open, giving him time to say something if her were…ah, indisposed. She poked her head in and found…nothing. The sound of the shower running invaded her senses. Right. Shower. OK, maybe Will then.

She walked down the hall to Will's room and knocked on the door. And got no response. OK, maybe HE had the headphones on. She opened his door and stuck her head in. No Will. Buffy shook her head, trying to get past the confusion. There was no way either of them had left the apartment. She'd been camped out on the couch all night studying for her exam. So they had to be here…but where? The only answer she could come up with was the shower. Both of them. Together.

Ok, Will and Spike may be twins, but she was pretty sure that twins stopped doing everything together at a certain age. Maybe one of them was just…in…the bathroom. Hanging out? Buffy moved around the room, lost in thought, her brain running a mile a minute. OK, tie to try thinking logically. She sat down on the well made bed and smoothed away an invisible wrinkle. So what did this mean, if they were showering together? Well, obviously, that they took showers together.

_Which means they're naked together_, a voice pointed out.

OK, so? What did that matter.

_How many brothers do you know that still shower together? _

Alright, not many. Or any at all. But that wa—

Buffy froze. Hold on. Be kind, rewind. She looked down at the bed. The nicely made bed with the covers tucked neatly in. Since with did the Twinlets actually MAKE their beds? She's seen Spike's version of changing sheets. It consisted of gleefully yanking off the old ones and throwing 'sufficiently rumpled' ones back on. He usually left the duvet on the floor until he needed it. And come to think of it, she'd never heard Will mention changing his sheets, though he'd changed Spike's a time or two, with about as much care as his twin. Buffy took a good look at the room she was in.

The first word she thought of was…sterile. Not in the hospital sense of the word, but definitely in the Will/Spike sense of the word. There were posters on the wall, and a few personal items arranged on the drawer top but…the room didn't feel lived in. Buffy opened a drawer. There, neatly folded, were winter clothes. Well, as winter as California got, but definitely seasonal. She opened the closet; there were nice suits and a couple of tuxes in cleaner's bags—nothing you would use everyday. This…this was a guest room and storage! Buffy sat heavily on the plush bed to sort through all the information running through her head.

Spike and Will lived together. Like, LIVED together lived together. Which was a little odd. There was some wiggle room with the whole twin thing. They had grown up together, probably doing and sharing everything…why stop just because they got older? It was probably…habit. A habit they had never bothered breaking. And why start now? It made sense.

_Yeah, in the "I'm trying to make this work" kind of way_, a sarcastic voice pointed out.

Really, what was so wrong with it? So they showered together, slept in the same bed. What was wrong with that? Buffy tried to think up a valid reason.

_Dependency issues_, the voice said dryly. Buffy almost missed the Purely Sensual part of her. At least that one told her exactly what it wanted instead of being sarcastic. Where did her own voices get off mocking her anyway?

And no, they didn't have dependency issues. Each of them had distinct lives. They did a lot together, asked each other's opinions about a lot of things, but they could function alone. She'd seen it. They even argued. A lot. About little, stupid things. But they were still disagreements. And they didn't cling.

_They SHARE the same BED and take SHOWERS…all together. _

Well, they HAD another one, they could use it if they needed too. Like…if one of them brought a girlfriend over or wanted some…um…private time.

_Bed time is private time. Unless...  
_

Buffy cut that thought right off. Not only was Purely Sensual Buffy having was too much fun distracting her with images of the Twinlet's having no-so-alone time, but…she couldn't bring herself to feel truly disgusted with their possible behavior. Because it was kind of hot. In a I-don't-want-my-roommates kind or way, naturally.

"Buffy?" a startled voice broke through her thoughts. Buffy jumped and slid right off the edge of the bed.

"I-I'm OK!" she called, standing up…to a gorgeous view of Spike's sculpted chest. Droplets of water were trickling down towards the white towel that cruelly hid the rest of him from her gaze. She continued her perusal where the towel ended at his knees, down his nice claves and to his sexy feet. Huh. She'd never thought feet were sexy.

"Buffy? Why were you in here?" Spike asked, a small smile on his face.

"Does anyone live in here?" she blurted. Oh no. That was not what she wanted to say. She didn't want to bring this up. Not now. Oh, bad mouth! Spike looked startled.

"I….ah…th-this is Will's room."

"Oh. What are you doing in it?"

"I. Heh. I, um, needed a—"

"Hey, Spike, did you find the…" Will trailed off, his eyes wide.

Buffy didn't know what to say. Will was standing there…naked. OK, there may have been a little towel covering things, but pretty much naked. Her eyes dropped to his OH MY FUCKING GOD.

_Yeah, that pretty much sums it up_, Purely Sensual Buffy said wistfully. Buffy sternly commanded her inner slut to shut up. But Will was…he was…a little aroused and…wow. Will suddenly sprinted into the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Spike collapsed on the bed with a groan, resting his head in his hands. This was not good.

"Ah…I'm just going to…yeah," Buffy mumbled, her brain still short-circuiting. Naked Will flashed behind her eyes. Gah.

"Buffy, I'm sorry, we…we tried. We didn't want you to…" Spike trailed off miserably. This was no supposed to happen. Now they were going to lose her, before they'd even had her, one or both of them. Spike wanted to cry and kill something all at once. This was so unfair.

"We'll let you out of the lease, no questions asked. It's not a problem, we can—"

"You'll WHAT?" Buffy cried. They were going to kick her out? She was briefly distracted by the bathroom door opening.

"Buffy," Will began.

"You're kicking me out?!"

"What? No. Who…SPIKE!" Will yelled.

"Oi! No! I just said we'd let her out of the lease without—"

"Why the bloody hell would you say that? Not that it's not true, pet, if you ever wanted to leave, I mean, we're not—"

"I'm not leaving," Buffy yelled. "I just…asked a question." Spike looked miserably at Will, who finally realized what question Buffy must have asked.

"Oh," Will said, slumping down on the bed beside his brother. Buffy randomly noted they both looked liked she'd just killed their dog.

"Look, it's fine. I don't care. I just…why didn't you tell me?" Buffy cringed at the petulant note her question took.

"Well…we've had, um, problems in the past, and we really like you, kitten," Will murmured, rubbing soothing circles on Spike's back. "And we didn't want to do anything to make you want to leave."

"I'm not leaving," Buffy stated definitively. "I like living her way too much. Like I said, whatever makes you happy, I'm all for it." Her breath caught when Spike smiled at her; really smiled. It was beautiful.

"But don't think you're not going to buy me heaps of Ben and Jerry's for lying!"


	12. Lunch Dates

Buffy jumped out of the shower and sprinted to her cell phone.

"Hello?"

""lo pet." A large smile lit Buffy's face.

"Hey Will. What's up?"

"Well, my brother forgot to tell me he was wining and dining some big wigs from Hicksville, South Carolina. Leaves me out one date so...fancy lunch? On me, o'course."

"That sounds great! I need to get dressed first."

"Now pet, there's no need for that. Starkers is just fine with me."

"You're a pig, Will. I'll be there in 45, k?"

"Right, I'll make reservations for 1:30."

"Shut up!"

"Bye, luv."

"Bye pig."

"Oink oin—"

Buffy flew around her room, trying to get ready. What to wear what to wear. A sundress? No, that was too girly. Halter top? Nah, too nighty. Oooooh! The pretty emerald top that fell off her shoulders and showed everything off juuuust right. Perfect. Buffy was out the door only fifteen minutes late.

* * *

"This place is nice!" Buffy exclaimed. It was a beautiful outdoor cafe that gave the sense of being outside the city. Patrons sat under a gazebo with plants climbing up the sides and onto the top. It was classy but relaxed; the perfect place to bring a date—if it were a date. Which it so wasn't.

"Yeah, great place to bring the business blokes. They eat it right up. Er…literally," Will said. Buffy almost lost herself in his smile.

"So what's good here?"

"Get a steak."

"Will! It's lunch. I'm not going to spring for a steak!"

"You asked, pet. And they make a bloody good steak. Plus I'm springing and as the magnanimous man I am, I give you permission."

"Oh please," Buffy said with an eye roll. "Bloody is right. I've seen how you eat your meat. It's all gross and…and mooing! Why are you laughing? Don't laugh at me!"

Will couldn't help the laughter that bubbled up in his chest. Buffy's meat comment just seemed terribly funny to him in light of her discoveries, though she was apparently naive enough to rationalize away the implications of him and Spike sharing a room…and a bed.

"I…I'm s-s-sorry pet. Honestly, I'm not laughing at you. Just, ah, thought of somethin' funny, s'all." He looked at her with wide, puppy dog eyes, begging her to believe him.

"I'll buy you a dessert?" Buffy budged a little, her interest piqued. "Oh, that triple chocolate cake of death. Your own slice, all to your skinny little self. Whaddya say kitten?"

"You'll be forgiven at dessert time. Maybe."

* * *

"But whhhh-hhhhy," the petulant blonde demanded, stomping her foot and crossing her arms. She pushed her lower lip out in what was supposed to be a seductive manner, but it just made her look spoiled and idiotic.

"I don't like the feel of this place. It's not good enough for a girl like you," Riley crooned, hoping to dissuade Harmony from making more of a scene. He'd brought her to this restaurant because it was far away from places Buffy went. Except his girlfriend was here, now, with one of those low life scumbags she called roommates. Luckily, they'd only ordered drinks by the time he noticed them on the other side of the patio.

"You mean that Pookie?" He turned his attention back to Harm, pasting on a plastic smile.

"Of course I do. Now, where would you like to go?" The waiter took his credit card. Good. They needed to get out of here. Like now.

"Oh, I don't know! Surprise me. You know I like surprises." Riley tried no to wince as harmony's voice hit octaves higher than he could bear.

"Great, alright, let's—"

"I'll be right back. I'm just going to go powder my nose!" Harmony was gone before he could stop her. FUCK.

* * *

"Yeah, well, I'm absolutely pissed, and Spike's trying to drag my arse up the stairs. I was singin' somethin' at the top of my lungs, and so the Old Lady called the coppers."

Buffy nearly spit water out of her nose. Spike and Will had gotten into some serious trouble back in the day!

"I'm surprised you survived."

"Da almost killed us a time or two. Kicked us out of the house a few times too."

"That's the least I would have done," Buffy said threateningly.

"Oi! You'd throw your poor, rebellious, sexy Twinlets out on the street?"

"You bet!" Buffy said cheerfully. "Right on your asses, bam!" She grinned while Will pouted. How cute. But she had things to attend to. "I'll be right back." Buffy grabbed her purse and headed towards the lady's room. She opened the door and a platinum blonde woman in a bubble pink dress was sitting on the sink nattering into her phone.

"He's like, ssssoooo sweet! Do you know what he said to me today? He said, he said…Oh! I can't! It's just like, too perfect! I'm going to cry and smudge my make up!"

Buffy rolled her eyes and wished the stalls were soundproof. The girl out there gave woman and blondes a very bad name. She kept going off on how perfect her boyfriend was, and how he was taking her out of this dumpy cafe and somewhere much nicer. Buffy personally thought the restaurant was beautiful and perfect. But anyone who was dating bimbo out there had to be one helluva idiot. Her name was probably Bambie or Candy or something equally inane.

"Oh! And he got me this absolutely gorgeous 'Harmony' necklace! Oh, it's the most perfect way to write my name, like, EVER! I'm soooooo in love."

Like she said, Bambie or Candy or Harmony. Buffy flushed the toilet, grateful that the noise momentarily drowned out the woman's high pitched drone. She went to the sink that was the least covered by Harmony's bright pink ass.

"But I have to go. Can't keep my Ri-bear waiting! Smooches!" The Thing in Pink hopped off the sink. After giving Buffy a once over and checking her make up, the floozy flounced out of the bathroom. Buffy breathed a huge sigh of relief, choking on the stench of the woman's perfume. That's why all the stupid people kept breathing; all the smart people choked to death!

She pushed the swinging door open and…was that Riley? With the Pink Blob? Buffy studied the figure herding Harmony away from the restaurant. Nah, it couldn't be. Riley had a big work meeting today. That's why they couldn't meet up for lunch. But more power to that guy if he kept dating Harmony.

With a light heart, made lighter by the knowledge that someone like Harmony wasn't in her life, Buffy made her way back to Will.


	13. No Boys Allowed

The Bronze was a throbbing organism, the mass of people moving in time to the primal beat of the hypnotic music pounding through the speakers. Faith wove her way through the throng balancing her precious cargo carefully. She glared daggers at anyone who threatened to upset her balance.

"Alright ladies! I've got a sex on the beach for Willow, a red headed slut for Tara—as if she needed another one—an extra bloody Mary for Anya, a girly daiquiri for Buffy, and a Guinness all for me." Faith set the last glass on the table and snatched her hand back before Buffy took it off trying to get to her drink.

"To Tara and Willow!" a slightly tipsy Buffy toasted gleefully. They were having a girl's night out to celebrate Willow and Tara's now official relationship. No boys were allowed, just the girls, and they were all going to get trashed. Willow and Tara blushed, but raised their glasses with the others. They nursed their drinks, letting the pulsing club surround them.

"How's that red headed slut treating you T?" Faith asked devilishly. The quiet woman blushed at the innuendo, ducking her head.

"S-s-s-she's a-as good as s-s-sex on the b-beach!" Faith's dusky laughter filled the silence while everyone else's jaw dropped at the naughty twinkle in Tara's eye; everyone but Anya.

"I don't know why you're all so surprised, I think Tara has great orgasmic potential as a dominatrix." The stunned faces all turned towards Anya, Tara blushing bright red again. Faith was the first to break out of her stupor.

"Hell, I'll drink to that. To Tara's controlling side," Faith said, knocking back the rest of her beer.

* * *

"You know," a drunk!Buffy slurred, "you two…you're lucky. Lucky! Luck-ee. Juno why? 'Specause you're just, just starting. And that's nice. You're fresh! You're cookie dough!"

"No," Willow said with a vigorous shake of her head. She stopped when she got a little dizzy and almost fell off her chair. "Better. We're better 'n' cookie dough! We…we're ice cream!" The two girls collapsed in a fit of giggles.

"Silly! 'Snot what I meant," Buffy reasoned.

Faith just rolled her eyes and downed her fourth beer of the night. She was only a little tipsy; she'd take it on herself to be the responsible one tonight, which didn't happen often. Besides, a drunk Buffy was way to rare a phenomena not to experience it fairly sober…for the most part.

"Are you making metaphorical comparisons to how Tara tastes during sex?" Faith choked on her laughter. Apparently, Anya could hold her liquor way better than any of the other women, and her question was just met with drunken stares of incomprehension.

"A-hic-nya!" Tara waggled her finger at the blonde woman. "No! She doesn't mean ice cream. She means strawberries!"

"No no no nonononono!" Buffy interrupted, shaking her head. "Not ice cream, cookie dough! B-because yer not"—Buffy belched rather dramatically—"see, these people try to bake you. Even if you don't wanna be baked. But they try. They think they're these great chefs and...they want to take your gooey goodness and bake into warm chocolaty kind of gooness. B-b-but they're bad. Bad chefs! And they burn your cookies! They BURN them!"

"Did Riley give you an STD?" Anya asked brightly.

"And on that note, it's time to take this party home!" Faith declared.

* * *

Fatih needed a drink. A very large, very stiff one full of liquor. Robin was away on some sort of business trip, and Faith had kindly volunteered their place as a crash pad for the after party. Never again. Getting all the drunk people to her house had been more trouble than it was worth.

"Why not?"

"I have a boyfriend, Anya!" Faith rolled her eyes and made her way over to Buffy.

"Your boyfriend is way outclassed in orgasm potential by Spike and Will…together and alone!"

"They're my roommates, Anya! I'm not going to sleep with them." She took a sip of the drink Faith offered her. "Blegh! Faith! This is horrible!"

"I cut you off, B. No more alchy for you!"

"No! We need drinky! Oh! Let's play a game!" Buffy bounced up and down excitedly.

"One where Buffy jumps those sexy blondes and eases the sexual tension before she explodes," Anya muttered. Faith silently agreed with Anya, who she was beginning to like more and more.

"They're my—"

"Hey! I work for them and I—" a suddenly furious Buffy was in her face.

"What? You what?" she demanded fiercely. Willow and Tara broke away from making up at the deadly anger in Buffy's voice. Anya merely smiled serenely.

"You're jealous."

"WHAT DID YOU DO?"

"Hey, B, I think—" Buffy growled at Faith before her glittering green eyes were back on Anya.

"What I was GOING to say," the put-upon woman said, "was I'd do them, even though their my bosses. Hasn't happened, never will…but damn." Buffy relaxed, still glowering at Anya.

"Drinking game?" Willow hesitantly ventured.

"I think that's a good idea," Faith said, warily eyeing Buffy. A pack of cards appeared in Anya's hand.

"This game is called Face Number Seven," she said authoritatively. The only sign that she'd been drinking steadily for the past few hours was how long it took her to shuffle the deck. "Face: you get a face card, you can ask anyone in the circle any question and they have to answer. Number: any number card but seven you pass a drink, evens to the right, odds to the left."

"And sevens?" Willow asked.

"You get to give anyone you want a drink and a question. Whoever gets asked a question or hit with a seven gets to go next; otherwise, draw to the left."

"Oh! Oh! Me! I want to start!" Buffy drew an eight. "Faith! Drink up!"

Anya drew a three; Tara got a five; Willow drew a nine; Faith got the first face card.

"Alright…Willow." She fixed the nervous red head with a malicious grin. "How good is Tara in bed?" Willow suddenly matched her hair color.

"She's…ah, I mean, well, um…she's-the-best-I've-ever-had!" The words came out rushed together, the alcohol helping to slur them, but everyone got the message. Willow buried her head against Tara's shoulder, who had turned a little pink but looked oddly proud. Buffy let out a wistful little awe sound that made Faith want to ralph. The game continued without much drama, until Anya drew a seven. She threw it down triumphantly.

"Buffy. How much do you want to jump the twins?" Everyone held their breath, waiting for Buffy's response. Her eyes were closed, and Faith elbowed her friend.

"Hey B, you have to answer the question."

"Hhhhhmmmm," she murmured sleepily, "I want them…to make me cookies." Buffy started snoring lightly.

"Does this mean the game is over?" Anya asked between hiccups.

"Yeah," Faith said, looking over at Willow and Tara who were busy with each other, "that about sums it up. Want some Jack?"


	14. Gradumation

Before any of them knew it, the months slipped by. There were no catastrophes, no dramas, life seemed pretty damned good. Faith and Robin had gotten engaged shortly after their girl's night out. Buffy was Faith's one and only bride's maid; Gunn was Robin's. Gunn and Buffy now talked regularly because they were planning a killer bachelor/bachelorette party together…even though the couple had made it clear they weren't getting married anytime soon, staunchly refusing to set any kind of date whatsoever. But other than that, no life altering changes, no one dying, or exploding, or…anything.

It was the calm before the storm, Buffy just knew it. She took a deep, shaky breath, trying to calm down. She was graduating today. Today!

The ceremony was being held at twelve, but Buffy had been up since seven. She was a bundle of nerves, constantly straightening her robes. It wasn't like she actually had to do anything: just walk across the stage, accept the diploma, and walk off the stage. Easy.

Buffy cast aside thoughts of her parents. She'd done everything she could. She'd sent them an invitation, called them a couple of time to drop hints about it…but she hadn't gotten a straight answer. Knowing her parents, they were probably skiing in Switzerland right now. But whatever. This was a time to be happy!

Willow, Tara, Faith, Robin, Gunn, Xander, Lorne, Spike, William, and Riley were all going to be there. Anya was doing something vague, which in itself was odd. Anya wasn't a vague kind of person. Giles had been invited, but he was the head of an international publishing firm, so his schedule was a bit booked. Buffy smiled when she thought about the older man. They'd grown close; she'd talked to him about a lot of things since meeting him at the house warming party, and he was genuine and sincere and…fatherly.

"Fifteen minutes, people! I need you guys in alpha order!" a voice hollered through the small waiting room. Buffy put on her cap, pinning it into place. This was it. She was ready to get her diploma and never do homework again!

"Oh, where is she? Do you see her? I hope she's not too nervous, she said she couldn't sleep last night. But she's got a beautiful dress and some killer shoes, so at least she didn't have to worry about that! Oh, I bet she looks fantastic!" Willow babbled, searching for a sign of her best friend. And completely ignoring the fact that none of the graduates were in sight yet.

"Did you give her caffeine again, Glenda?" Spike asked with a long-suffering sigh.

"Nope," she giggled, "she's just on Willow."

"We'd be rich if we could sell her in pill form," Xander joked. Will stifled a derisive snort; this was Buffy's day, and the least he could do was pretend to get along with the whelp. For her sake. Spike, apparently, had no such compunction.

"Think of that one yourself, Whelp?"

"It's as original as your look, Billy," Xander fired back.

"Oh my pretties! None of that! No fighting unless it's over me," Lorne chastised. Faith pulled a flask out of Robin's coat pocket. She took a big swig before passing it to Spike, who looked at her with wonder and awe.

"I love you," he murmured sincerely. She gave him a saucy wink and then wrapped one arm around her fiancée's waist.

"Hey! They're coming! Oh, they're processing!" Willow squealed. They all turned to try and get the first glimpse of Buffy. The procession went by, professors first, then undergrads, and finally…Buffy. She was smiling brightly, beautiful, radiant…

"Effulgent," Spike whispered in awe. A strong, warm hand slipped into his and squeezed quickly before it was gone.

_Effulgent indeed! _Will thought. Buffy looked beautiful. When they called her name, the entire row went crazy, cat calling and generally being obnoxious. But it was worth it to see her pretty smile.

* * *

"Buffy! Buffy! Over here!" Buffy said goodbye to one of her classmates, heading over to a frantically waving and jumping Willow. All of her friends were looking on with amused smiles. Even…

"GILES!" Buffy ran up and gave him a huge hug despite his awkward stuttering. "You came!"

"Er..yes, quite. I-it obviously meant a lot to you, so I…made it a priority to get here. Congratulations." Buffy felt tears misting in her eyes. She gave hugs to everyone, lingering a bit with Spike and Will. This was amazing! Everyone was…

"Wait…has anyone seen Riley?" The group exchanged glances with each other before settling on Xander.

"Hey, don't look at me! I haven't heard from him in a couple of days! I'm his friend, not his keeper!" he protested.

"Oh. Well, I'm sure he's here, just, lost in the crowd or something," Buffy said valiantly. But Riley never showed up, not even for the post graduation dinner at Buffy's favorite restaurant. He didn't pick up his cell phone all day either. She'd done a good job playing it off, but everyone knew Buffy was upset. The Twins escorted a subdued Buffy to their apartment.

"Pet…" Will started.

"Hey, thanks you guys," she said softly. "This…this was perfect. Really. I'm just a little tired, long day and all. I'm going to go to bed, so I'll see you in the morning."

"Yeah." They watched her go, a dejected slump in her shoulders.

"I really hate that wanker," Spike growled.

"You an' me both."

Buffy had just changed into her night clothes when her phone rang. She picked it up without even checking the caller ID.

"Hello?"

"Hey Babe, it's me." Buffy sighed wearily.

"What is it, Riley?"

"Hey, don't be like that. I'm sorry I missed your thing. I had this emergency at work, I'm in Arizona. I would have called but—"

"It's fine, Riley. Really. I'm just tired."

"Did you have fun?"

"Yeah, everything went really well. Everyone was there."

"Great. Well, how about I take you out when I get back?"

"That…that sounds great," she mumbled without enthusiasm.

"Alright. I'll see you in a couple of days, then, baby. Love ya." Riley hung up the phone and turned his attention to the naked blonde in his bed. "You free the next couple of days?"

Buffy sat on her bed for a few moments, trying to sort out a few things. What she needed to do was forget Riley for a minute and hang out with her twinlets. They always made her feel better. She climbed out of bed and hovered in the entrance way, wondering how to get over the awkward feeling. She's basically brushed them off, and now…

"You just gonna stand there pet?"

"There's enough room for three."

She gratefully slid in between them, snuggling into their dual embrace. She felt all of her cares and worries slip away.

"So, what are we watching?"

_"Equilibrium_," Will answered.

"Bloody brilliant film. See, this government has made it illegal to feel…"


	15. The Break Up

Buffy was completely, utterly, and 100 not excited for her date. If Riley seriously thought he could make up for being as ass by buying her dinner, he had another think coming. She pulled on her boots with a short, sharp tug. Stupid bull headed overly muscular…

"Whoa whoa whoa. Be nice to those boots missy. If you don't like them, I'll certainly take them." Despite her crappy mood, Buffy grinned. Lorne always made her smile.

"I'm sorry. I promise, no boots will be harmed in the dressing of this girl." Lorne wrapped his arms around her, resting his chin on the top of her head.

"What's wrong schookums?"

"Nothing."

"Alright, this time we're going to try it without the dramatic sigh and depressed tone. Ready, aaaannnnddd…GO!" Buffy laughed in spite of herself.

"He just…and I…he keeps…UGH!" She picked up one of her pillows and chucked it at the wall.

"Yeah. I know. But hey, if he's worth it…he's worth it." Lorne rubbed his hand across her back. Buffy was so vibrant and full of life, but she really knew how to pick her men. If only she would wake up and see the delectableness that was sharing an apartment with her… But that was something that had to work itself out. Lorne glanced around her room, settling on the clock. He was going to be late. "Oops, gotta run. Chin up, old girl. You'll be fine."

Buffy smiled softly, not really convinced. She glanced at the clock and groaned. Fifteen minutes. Great.

* * *

Buffy stared out the window of the restaurant, watching the people go by and generally tuning Riley out completely. He was so boring. How had she missed that all these months? A couple walked by, holding hands. The man suddenly stopped the woman, pulling her in front of him. He was looking at her with such adoration, like she was the most precious thing in the world. The woman was looking at him like nothing else mattered, that the world could be swallowed by a crater, and all she would care about was looking into his eyes. Buffy sighed. She wanted that.

"Buffy? God, are you even listening to me?" She snapped back to Riley.

"Sorry. I was distracted. What was that?"

"If you didn't want to listen to me in the first place, I don't feel like—"

"God dammit Riley!" Buffy hissed. He looked at her in surprise; she'd never talked to him in that way, that…fiercely. It was kind of hot. "I was distracted. It happens. If you'd really like to know, I saw a couple kissing outside, obviously in love, and I was thinking—" she cut herself off, not willing to discuss it any further here. That was a conversation best saved for private. Riley, of course, completely missed the frustrated subtext of her angry words.

"Oh, Babe." Buffy gritted her teeth. She really hated that nickname. Was it too much for him to be creative? "That's what I was getting at! See, I was thinking that since you're graduated now, and I'm not going to distract you from your studies now, that it's time for you to move in with me. Really, we should have done it ages ago, but I understand that you weren't ready and your studies came first. But now, we can be together, you don't have to live with those…other men, and we can start talking and thinking about our future. I mean, we're not getting any older, and my Mom would really like some grand kids. I've always wanted a big family, and what better time to start?"

Buffy stared at Riley in dumbfounded disbelief. Was he actually serious? Had he just blatantly ignored every conversation they'd had over the entire course of their relationship, or had he bothered to listen at all? She was so stunned she didn't even know where to start or what to say.

"I love you, Babe. Do you think we should tell your roommates tonight?"

"N…no!" Buffy said, still trying to wrap her head around the sudden turn in conversation. And when, exactly, had she agreed to this lunacy?

"Oh. Right. You'll want to…celebrate," Riley murmured, running his hand up her arm. Buffy angrily jerked her hand away.

"No, Riley. No as in no I'm not moving in with you! Not now, and not ever!"

Riley was stunned. What had gotten into Buffy? Why was she saying these things?

"Buffy, I assumed now that you—"

"Exactly. You _assumed_," she interrupted angrily. "You didn't ask. You just…assumed that I'd give up the life I've been building to move in with you. You, who couldn't show up to my housewarming party or my graduation! This is my life Riley! You don't control it! And you sure as hell don't get to make plans for me. We're in a relationship; we're supposed to be equals. It's not supposed to be me waiting and hoping for you to show up."

"Where is this coming from, Buffy? You—"

"This is coming from almost a year of letting you walk all over me!"

"Don't turn this on me, Buff. You don't love me enough. You've never loved me enough; you aren't willing to put me first, you aren't willing to make compromises. And I get that, that's a part of who you are. But I love you, Buffy, warts and all. I am willing to live with your shortcomings, but you have to make some concession for me. Because that's one hell of a concession on my part, being with someone who doesn't love me like they should. And one of the things I won't stand for, Buffy, is you acting like a complete whore," Riley hissed. Buffy's jaw dropped open.

"What—"

"That's what people think when they find out you've been living with two men. It's disgusting and unhealthy, Buffy. I was willing to overlook the low morals of your friends, but when they start corrupting you—"

"My friends are not corrupting me! And there is nothing wrong with how they—"

"Most of your so called friends are gay! That's disgusting and wrong! And you shouldn't be associating with them."

"I'll associate with whoever I damn well please, Riley Finn. Nothing you say or do will make me give them up."

"It's them or me," Riley aid, crossing his arms over his chest, oblivious to the people in the restaurant who were becoming more interested with the drama unfolding before them.

"Easiest choice I ever had to make," Buffy challenged, her eyes glittering. What a self-righteous prick!

"It's **them** isn't it? Those…men." Riley asked with disgust. Buffy wanted to bang her head repeatedly on the table top.

"What are you talking about?" she asked with a resigned sigh.

"Them. Will and…Spike." He spat the name like it was a disease.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, I have eyes, Buffy. They want you. And you want them. Both of them. You think about them. You're always talking about them. 'Will does this, Spike likes that, this would be great for my Twinlets!' Well, you know what? I'm through playing second fiddle to a bunch of punks."

"You're off your rocker," Buffy snapped.

"Oh, sounds like something THEY would say. You think about them when you're with me, don't you?" He looked so petulant and whiney, brooding there. Buffy snapped. She was done with Riley Finn. She was just…the damn broke and nothing could stem the flow of words coming from Buffy.

"It's not my fault I have to find away to get my self off 'cause you suck so badly, Riley," Buffy said sweetly. She grabbed her purse and stood up, ready to leave. But she paused, a rather fitting thought moving through her head. She strode back to the table and got close in Riley's sad, Iowa face. "You want proof that I wasn't thinking about them?" Her lips brushed the shell of Riley's ear, her breath warm and hot. "I wasn't screaming."

A very pleased Buffy Summers exited the restaurant to the sounds of one Riley Finn sputtering angrily behind her.

* * *

A couple of hours late, a half-amused, half-annoyed Faith strolled into the Bronze.

"Faaaaithey!" Buffy giggled. Four shot glasses were lined up in front of her, and two pint glasses beside those. This was not good. Buffy started giggling insanely.

"Damn B, what the hell got into you?"

"Riley dumped me!" Buffy started laughing all over again.

"No shit," Faith said. "Right on, I'll drink to that. Hey, give me a beer, something on tap, and water for the blonde."

"NO! No water. I yam feelin' gooooood."

"Her last shot hasn't hit her yet," the bartender informed Faith. "I'm glad you showed up, I was about to cut her off."

"She been bad?" Faith asked, sipping her celebratory beer.

"No. Just…surprisingly happy for a girl that's just been dumped."

"Yeah, well, you would be too if that kind of man dumped you." The bartender laughed before moving on to other customers. Faith spent the better part of an hour listening to Buffy's drunken ramblings and amusing assessments of her now ex.

"Faith! Wow, the walls are all movey and spinney!" Faith drained the last of her beer before picking up her inebriated friend and dragging her to the car.

"You better be able to find your own bed, B, because I'm leaving you at the door!"

* * *

A/N: Here endeth _Singlets_, to be continued in _Twinlets _(coming soon!) 


End file.
